Taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It’s easy to put yourself last on the list. You take care of your family and you prioritize work. This doesn’t leave much time for yourself.
So, the question is, are you taking care of yourself during a divorce?
Our bodies are like a car. They need fuel. Just like you need to fill your car up with fuel, you need to fill your body up with fuel. This starts with getting enough rest, eating nutrient rich foods and drinking plenty of water. And, don’t forget about hygiene. It’s easy to rush out of the house in the morning without a shower. This will help wake you up and have you smelling fresh. I’m sure your friends and family will appreciate this.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. You should not feel guilty about it. It really is true, we can’t take care of anyone else unless we have taken care of ourselves. This will also help you enjoy life, a little more.
Here are 10 tips for taking care of yourself during a divorce:
- It will help your memory. We have become a sleep deprived culture. The cost is forgetfulness. Have you ever noticed when you haven’t had enough sleep, that you make more mistakes? This can affect your family and your work performance. Make sure you get at least 8 hours of sleep. Take a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day. Your mind will thank you for it.
- You won’t be so hard on yourself. Do you continue to think about your regrets? Are you always criticizing yourself? You can change that inner critic. When you start to take better care of yourself and put yourself first, you will go easier on yourself. You are human and you will make mistakes. The best thing you can do is learn from them and move on.
- It will help your mood. Have your been more irritable these days? This can happen when you put yourself last on the list. Taking care of yourself will help you feel better about yourself. It will also help you set better boundaries. So, you can stop saying yes when you mean no. Your friends and family will thank you for this in the long run.
- You will have more fun. As you get older, it’s easy to put fun on the bottom of the list. You are in a relationship, you have kids, a house and a job. So, this doesn’t leave much time for fun. Think back to when you were a child fun just seemed to happen. You would be on the playground at school with your friends playing and laughing. I want you to put fun first on the list again. You won’t regret it.
- It will help your heart. Exercise is one of the best forms of self-care. But, yet so many people cut it out of their life. Start to schedule time for exercise. You can start by walking 10 minutes in one direction from your house. You will have to walk back. There you go, you added 20 minutes of walking into your day. You are off to a good start. Try adding some weight lifting to your exercise regime. Not only is this good for your heart, it is good for your strength. Especially as we get older. People that have a regular exercise routine, report feeling better. And, you can’t beat the endorphin high.
- You will be more realistic. It’s good to have dreams. In all honesty, I would be concerned if you didn’t. But, there is another side. Do you have a realistic plan? Do you know what you are really capable of? Are you ready for some honest feedback? If not, then you probably aren’t being realistic. A lot of people give up on their dreams. Which is unfortunate, if they had a realistic plan and some realistic mentors there would be a much better chance of their dreams coming true.
- You won’t feel as stressed out. Tired of always worrying about the future? Will you have enough money, love, time, etc? You can’t predict the future. I have found many people spend too much time thinking ahead. This creates a lot of unnecessary stress. Not only do a lot of people spend way too much time trying to predict the future, they always predict it will turn out bad. If you can’t stop trying to predict the future, then predict a positive outcome.
- It will help you end toxic relationships. Are there people in your life that you just can’t seem to let go of? You know they aren’t good for you. They only call you when they need something. And, they talk negatively about you behind your back. These people will only keep you down, which is what they want. When you feel better about yourself it’s easier to let go of bad relationships.
- You will be a better caregiver. When you don’t take care of yourself, you are at risk for burnout. This makes it difficult to take care of others and yourself. It can also make you feel jealous of friends and family, that actually care about you. It’s hard to feel appreciative when you feel burnt out.
- You won’t take life so seriously. You will be able to ride through the highs and lows of life, more easily. You begin to realize, you don’t have to be perfect and neither does anyone else. You have realistic expectations of others and yourself. You’ve already gotten through some difficult times and realize you can do it again, if you have to. Let’s face it, we’ve all been around someone that just takes life way too seriously. You probably couldn’t wait to get away. Enjoy where you are in life and the people you are with.
We live in a fast paced world. Where it’s easy to focus on what you don’t have, rather than what you do have. Especially when you are going through a divorce. This leaves you feeling, like you never have enough. If you keep thinking this way, you will burnout. This can cause many unnecessary problems in your life. Now, who had time for unnecessary problems?
I you liked this article, there is plenty more in Taking Care Of Yourself. You will also find helpful tips for dating and relationships.
Lianne Avila is a Marriage & Family Therapist helping people in San Mateo, CA who are looking to create a life that is happier and more fulfilling. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on www.LessonsforLove.com to learn more about her services and expertise.