Month: April 2013

Three Benefits to Saying “No” to your Child

By Lianne Avila / April 29, 2013 /

I hear this all the time in my practice. ‘I don’t want my child to only hear no.’ And, I tell them their child doesn’t always have to hear no. But, they do need your guidance and assurance. I also hear, ‘I was always told no as a child and resented my parents for this.’…

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Living Your Life in Balance: 6 Tips to Balance Your Life

By Lianne Avila / April 22, 2013 /

“Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.” Hillary Clinton I hear this all the time in my practice, ‘I wish I had more balance in my life.” It’s so easy in our fast-paced society to lose track of time and forget some of the obvious things. Here are some tips to help get…

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Depression and Relationships: Living with a Depressed Person

By Lianne Avila / April 15, 2013 /

Four Rules for Living with a Depressed Person: The couple sitting opposite me in my San Mateo office looks like a very nice couple. They say they love each other. But, the marriage is ending. He wants out. He says, “I can’t live with her depression anymore.” “It’s her negativity, her tunnel vision and her…

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How To Make Your “No” Stick

By Lianne Avila / April 8, 2013 /

As most of you know I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and I have completed Levels 1, 2 & 3 in Gottman Couples Training. Gottman, of course, is the expert on relationships and is backed with 40 years of research. I absolutely love this method. After trying many different methods in working with couples,…

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Bids For Connection: The Building Blocks Of Emotional Connection

By Lianne Avila / April 2, 2013 /

Take The Bids For Connection Quiz In Dr. John Gottman’s apartment lab at the University of Washington, he studies how people interact with one another under everyday circumstances. He has discovered that “bids for connection” happen at a very high rate between partners. For example, happy couples “bid” 100 times in ten minutes. What makes…

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