“It’s the small positive things done often that make the difference.” The Gottman Institute

I’m sure you all know how a savings account works. The more deposits you make to it, the more money you have in it. If you are always taking money out of the account, then you will end up with no money. This is how a relationship works. Focus on making deposits in your emotional bank account. This is your relationship. This is not about keeping score this about nurturing your relationship. The more deposits you make, the more it will grow and have the Positive Sentiment Override (PSO). This will help get you through the difficult times, especially the difficult times you just didn’t see coming. Here are five tips to help build your emotional bank account:
  1. Show affection. Make sure to kiss, hold, grab and touch each other. Play is always good for your relationship. Make sure to kiss your partner before you go to bed each night.
  2. Admiration and appreciation. Find some way every day to genuinely communicate admiration and appreciation for your partner. You can call, text, email or just say it. Be specific, ‘thanks for doing the dishes last night, I really like your willingness to pitch in.’
  3. Love Maps. This is about knowing your partner inside and out. Turn towards one another, go out on dates. Have good conversations and take a genuine interest in what your partner has to say. Tell your partner what you like about them.
  4. Partings. Don’t leave in the morning without knowing one important or interesting thing that will happen to your partner that day. Kiss for a minimum of six seconds.
  5. Reunions. Start your reunion at the end of the day with a six-second kiss. Make sure you set aside your brief case and electronic devices and have a ten minute conversation about your day. 
In a relationship the small things really add up. This will help build understanding and compassion for one another. For more help, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.

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