If you are in a relationship, then you must read this article. It will help deepen your connection with your partner. This is a time where you would think people are more connected than ever, because of technology. When, actually, they are less connected than ever. It could also be that people are holding themselves back. In a relationship you need to have a meaningful connection. This only comes when you are truly connected. Dr. John Gottman found in his research that updating Love Maps helped keep a couple connected. It’s important to update them often, as human beings we are always changing. Here are 10 questions to help deepen your connection in your relationship:

  1. In your life, what has been the biggest blessing in disguise? We’ve all been there. We never thought it would happen to us. But, a lot of the time when a door closes a window opens. Share your story with your partner.
  2. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? Now wouldn’t that be fun. Use this fun question to find out what your partner really wants do in life.
  3. Does spending time with other people energize or drain you? This will tell if your partner is an introvert or an extrovert. Now, don’t make assumptions. People think extroverts are fun and outgoing, and that introverts are shy and don’t really like being around people. This is not true. I know plenty of fun introverts. 
  4. If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in three words? This question is bittersweet. We all wish we could write a note to our younger self. This would also give you the chance to talk about your childhood.
  5. What would your perfect day look like? It doesn’t have to be a special day, it could be a perfectly normal day. Maybe, you would like to sleep in and have a cup of coffee rather than rush out the door. You can be as creative or as normal as you would like.
  6. Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions? This will reveal if you are thinker or a feeler. Most people have a primary mode of making decisions. Don’t let your partner get away with answering both.
  7. When was the last time your cried? Even the strongest people go soft at times. Try to see if you can get an honest answer out of your partner. Make sure your partner feels safe enough to share something like that with you.
  8. What’s the best way to end a long day? This is another fun question. Getting to know a person is getting to know who they are. What they value, their personality traits and how they feel about things. This is a good question to help you get to know your partner.
  9. What’s something you’re glad you’ll never have to do again? This question can be very telling. Usually the things that were the hardest have really helped shape us and build character. Usually the worst things we have gone through help make us the strongest.
  10. What’s one thing you always procrastinate on? There is always a reason we procrastinate. We don’t always know why. The Type A usually have a harder time with feeling tasks, while the more floaty type usually have a harder time with day-to-day tasks.
These really are some of my favorite bonding questions. Start to make a list of your favorite questions and spend time every week asking your partner these questions. This will also show that you have a genuine interest in your partner. For more help with your relationship, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.

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