Marriage is a journey. When you first get married it is easy and blissful. You look forward to seeing one another. Over time the newness and the excitement wear away. You get used to one another and it may start to seem routine. Over time couples can get lost during this phase. Life gets busy, you have work, children and a home to take care of. So, what happens to the relationship? It gets lower and lower on the list. This is when you want to start to make your relationship a priority, again. Here are four tips to help you divorce proof your marriage:
- Open Communication: This is essential to a thriving marriage. Make it a point to keep your partner up-to-date as to what is happening in your life. Make sure to tell your partner one important thing about your day before you depart in the morning. When couples don’t communicate they start to lose touch with one another. Your partner may start to fell left out and think you are keeping secrets.
- Date Nights: Dating shouldn’t be lost when you get married. This is what brought you together in the first place. Take time out of your busy lives to get dressed up and go out on a date. Take the time to plan it, like you did when you first met. Romance keeps marriages alive, this is what you should strive for in your relationship. Date night should happen once a week and you should have some light hearted fun and conversation.
- Trust: This is the foundation of your marriage. There should never be a reason to keep secrets from your partner. If you are having financial problems, then keep your partner in the loop. Let your partner know how the kids are doing in school. Let your partner know about outside stresses. Always keep your partner in the loop about your relationship and your life. Be open and honest in your relationship. Broken trust is not easy to fix. Be transparent with others about your relationship. When there is trust in the marriage, the union thrives.
- Mutual Respect and Admiration: Each person in the relationship should consider their partner’s feelings and what is on their mind. It is perfectly normal to have moments of misunderstanding in the relationship, but this should not be the norm. When you are in a relationship you need to support and respect one another. Listen to your partner’s ideas with enthusiasm and respect, even if you feel their idea is out in left field. You don’t have to always agree with your partner, you just need to respect your partner. Look for qualities that you are fond of in your relationship and tell them.
These are all researched tips from The Gottman Institute. They have done over four decades of research in working with couples. If you find after reading this article that you need more help in your relationship, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.