“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” Epicurus

If you answered yes to this question, you’re not alone. The good new is that your relationship can be helped if you want it. Here are some questions from The Gottman Institute to help you answer that question:

Answer True or False
  1. I often find myself disappointed in this relationship.
  2. I have learned to expect less from my partner.
  3. I will, at times, find myself quite lonely in this relationship.
  4. It is hard for my deepest feelings to get much attention in this relationship.
  5. I often try to avoid saying things I will later regret.
  6. I feel like I have to be so careful, it is like walking on eggshells.
  7. Suddenly, once again, I find I have said the wrong thing.
  8. There is not much intimacy in this relationship right now.
  9. Our relationship problems are not really solvable.
  10. Sometimes our relationship feels empty to me.
  11. This relationship is not quite what I expected, and I feel let down by it.
  12. We are pretty separate and unconnected emotionally.
  13. We don’t really talk very deeply to each other.
  14. There is not enough closeness between us.
  15. I sometimes think I expect too much and should settle for less in my relationship.
  16. I am coping with a lot of relationship stress, and I’m concerned it will not turn out okay.
  17. I have adapted to a lot in this relationship, and I am not so sure it’s a good idea.
  18. There’s certainly not much romance in this relationship.
  19. I can’t really say that we are very good friends right not.
  20. I am lonely in this relationship.
If you answered false to fifteen or more questions, then congratulations. You have a lot of strength and intimacy in your relationship. 8-14, this is a pivotal time in your relationship. This is the time to give the weaknesses in your relationship some attention. It will help build the friendship and make you stronger in the future. Seven or fewer, your relationship is in serious trouble. If this concerns you, then there is still hope for the relationship. Please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation and a full Gottman Assessment to learn where you stand in your relationship.

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