We’ve all heard the saying, ‘don’t believe everything people tell you.’ But, what about everything your mind tells you? I hear this all the time in my practice, ‘I’m a bad parent, I’m a bad student, or I’m a bad spouse.’ Is this really the truth, or is this your mind playing tricks on you? Here are five tips to help you stop believing everything your mind tells you:
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Especially actors! Learn to love yourself for the person you are. Life is full of ups and downs. This will help you through the difficult times in life.
- Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. It’s best to own up to it when you do and to stop hashing it through your mind. This will only make matters worse.
- Stop all-or-nothing thinking. Also known as black and white thinking. Have your ever met someone that thought this way? How long did you want to be around them?
- Give up on being perfect. Accept being good enough. For example, if you are studying for an exam, then study to learn rather than getting a perfect score. We all know that after college, people don’t ask for your exam scores, they want to know what kind of a people person you are.
- Stop emotional reasoning. Just because you think you are a dummy doesn’t mean you are a dummy. For example, a person that is nervous during an interview may feel they are horrible at interviews. They might make the assumption that they don’t know anything about the interview and guess randomly at the questions. In reality, there is no truth to this and they need to stop this kind of thinking.
People often ask me how I work as a therapist. I tell them that I use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I love this method. It helps people take a look at their internal dialogue, that we all have all the time. We are often our own worst critics and need to ease up on ourselves. If you find after reading this article that it isn’t enough, please call me for a consultation at (650) 892-0357.