This is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make. Learn how to know if he's the one.

He loves me, he loves me not. This is one of the most important decisions that you will ever make in your life.

How will you know if he’s the one? It’s not as easy as picking petals off a flower, like you did when you were a child.

It’s actually a good thing that you are questioning the relationship. How do your friends and family feel about him? Would you bring him around your friends and family? I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. But, there is still much more to this. Is this the guy you want to grow old with?

Now, I’m not talking about how much money he makes or where he went to college. What does your gut tell you? This isn’t about those nice to have qualities. This is about the qualities that he MUST have.

So, if you’re asking yourself, “does he love me?”, here are 6 signs he’s the one for you:

  1. You know you are his priority. If you ask him to go to an event that is important to you. He will, even if it means he has to take time off from work to go. If he travels for work, he checks in with you as soon as he lands and continues to text/call you. He let’s you know how the trip is going. He talks about the details of his day. So, you know the important things that are happening at work for him. He will tell his mom he needs to call her back, when you are in the middle of an important conversation.
  2. He doesn’t try to change you. There is nothing worse than feeling, like your partner is trying to change you. He knows you love cats, and that is alright. He knows this because you grew up with cats, and it has meaning to you. So, he will make sure there is always a cat in your life. He knows you inside and out, and he accepts you inside and out. This is a great feeling. This let’s you know he has your back. This is really what you want in a relationship.
  3. You have the same spiritual beliefs. Now, I know this is a tricky one these days. We have all seen the Bible be used to manipulate and control. This is not what it is meant for. Let’s take a look at what some of the core teachings are of the Bible. Forgiveness, humility, honesty, openness, respect, and sacrificial giving. These are beliefs you need in a relationship, when you are in it for the long haul. It’s true, couples that pray together stay together.
  4. He’s seen you at your worst, and hasn’t left. He stuck with you when you got fired from your job, and your roommate suddenly moved out. You really had a break down at that time. But, that didn’t scare him away. He was there for you. He listened to you. You could cry in front of him, and not worry about being judged. Now, you’ve found a good job and have a great roommate. What a good feeling.
  5. His actions speak louder than his words. It’s true, words need to be backed by action. If they aren’t, then it’s not sincere. When he apologizes, he doesn’t do the same thing again. You know he loves you because he says it. But, you also know it because he shows it. He remembers your anniversary. Not just when you officially started dating, but when you first met at your friends party. He’s willing to accept your brother’s quirks, because he knows this mean he gets to be with you. He’s willing to help you out with your car insurance payment and not throw it in your face. He’s doesn’t play Even Steven. He’s not just making one deposit in the bank, he is making many deposits over and over. And, he doesn’t need to be prompted over and over.
  6. He smiles when you are around. You know by his body language and his tone, without a doubt, that he is into you. This is an important one. You want your partner to be excited when he see’s you at the end of the day. You want to be his favorite part of the day. Without him saying a word, you know. What an amazing feeling. When you know your partner loves you. This will definitely help get you through the difficult times. Like, when the plumbing suddenly breaks down, and you are left with a huge bill.

You are looking for a best friend in your relationship. This is not a time to settle. You know what’s best for you. Follow your instincts on this one. You should be able to ask him anything, and get an honest answer. Make sure you make a decision that is good for you.

If you liked 6 Things Men Do When They’re Head Over Heels In Love With You. There is more in Dating 101.

Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Mateo, CA. I have helped many women make one of the most important decisions of their life, and feel good about it. For more information, please call (650) 892-0357 or email

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