You are ready to change your status to, “in a relationship.”

You’ve been dating this guy for a while. Things are starting to get serious. You don’t want to see anyone else. But, you just aren’t sure if he’s the one. There are always pros and cons in a relationship. But, the right relationship can be amazing.

If you want to get serious, then you need to know what you want. If you don’t, you will end up getting hurt. This is a time when you want to listen to your gut. It’s alright to listen to your friends and family. But, in the long run this is the guy you will spend the rest of your life with. So, make sure you take that into consideration.

Here are 6 ways to tell he’s the one:

  1. You know that he gets you. This is what you want most in a relationship. You want to feel that he understands you. This is when you know he has your back, no matter what.
  2. You have fun together, doing the simplest of things. You enjoy running errands together on Saturday morning. You don’t mind staying in with him, and watching a movie.
  3. You don’t feel like you have to hide your flaws. He has seen you at your worst, and he has still stuck around. You know you are going to mess up, and that’s feels alright.
  4. You have told all your friends and family about him. You are no longer worried about what anyone else thinks. You don’t feel you need to hide him.
  5. You don’t think of leaving. Even after an argument. You know that it is normal to have disagreements in a relationship. You don’t have to agree on everything. What’s important is that you can make up, after an argument.
  6. You are wildly attracted to him. Let’s not forget this one. There is a spark, that magic that you don’t feel with anyone else.

Here are 6 ways to tell he’s not the one:

  1. You don’t feel like yourself around him. You feel insecure when you are with him. You feel this way because he compares you to other women, or offers to pay for a boob job. He makes you feel like you need to change.
  2. You feel guarded with him. Meaning you aren’t willing to put it all on the line with him. You feel this way for a reason. Maybe, the trust is gone. Whatever the reason, you need to listen to it.
  3. You feel like you need to snoop. You feel this way when you don’t trust him. Most of the time, you have good reason not to trust him. Maybe, you found an unusual text message, or he has hid thing from you.
  4. He relies on substances. This is never a good thing. He tells you he can’t sleep without marijuana. Or, he can’t have a good time without alcohol. Then when he uses these substances he abuses them. He may use them to the point that he passes out.
  5. He doesn’t say “I Love You.’ He balks at the words. This is something you need to hear in a relationship. If he’s not ready to say it, then he’s not ready for a commitment.
  6. He feels he is always right. We all make mistakes. This means you both do. There are times when you need to apologize. If he can’t do this, then he can’t admit he made a mistake. Which means you can’t repair after an argument. This means the argument will never end.

It’s actually a good thing that you are questioning the relationship. This means you take it seriously. Make sure that he takes you seriously, as well. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with the wrong one.

Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, in San Mateo, CA. She has helped many women feel hopeful about marrying the right guy. For more information, please call or email (650) 892-0357 or

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