Self-Care In Your Relationship

It’s easy to put everyone else first. When you put yourself last, you will start to feel resentful. This will lead to anxiety and stress. It can also lead to physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches.

Practicing self-care in your relationship doesn’t have to be difficult.

We are social animals, and you are wired to connect with others. This is not a bad thing. But, you do want to be careful. Don’t let it get the best of you. It’s alright to set boundaries.

This means having good self-care habits. Self-care is something you practice daily. It’s taking care of you mind, body and spirit. This will help you feel better.

Here are 7 tips to help you practice self-care:

  1. Set healthy boundaries. This means that it is alright to say no. Be clear about what you need. This means mutual respect. Make sure that your partner is listening to you. Don’t feel guilty when you set boundaries.
  2. Surround yourself with positive people. If there are people in your life that are toxic, it may be time to sweep them out. Toxic people aren’t good for you, and they aren’t good for your relationship. Toxic people will leave you feeling bad, even though you didn’t do anything wrong.
  3. Have ways to process negative emotions. It’s natural to have negative emotions. You will have them towards yourself and your partner. This is when that inner voice takes over in a negative way. Develop a healthy thought pattern for yourself. For example, my feelings are alright.
  4. Set aside time for yourself. This will help you recharge. Spend time with friends, go to a yoga class, read a book, or go away for the weekend. Spend time in nature. It’s important to spend time doing things that you love, and that make you feel good.
  5. Get enough rest. I can’t say this one enough. You need 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night. This is how your brain recharges. When you have enough rest, you won’t be irritable and you will be more focused. Studies have proven this over and over.
  6. Write it down. Keep a journal. This will help you keep track of how you are feeling. Write down 3 great things about your day. It can be looking at the clouds while you are stopped at a light. Calling an old friend, or taking a warm bath. Try it for two weeks, and think of three different things each day.
  7. Learn to trust your gut. This one can be easy to ignore. It’s easy to get caught up in listening to everyone else. When was the last time you asked yourself how you were feeling? Then, did you listen for the answer? If so, what was it? This is called listening to your inner voice. When you do this you will feel better about yourself, and your relationship.

Self-care doesn’t have to be difficult. You may feel you don’t have enough time. When you practice self-care, you are showing up for yourself. So, make the time for it. You won’t regret it.

If you liked this article, there are more in Relationship Challenges. It’s filled with tips to help improve your relationship.

Lianne Avila is a Marriage & Family Therapist helping couples in San Mateo, CA who are looking to rebuild a close emotional connection and get their relationship back on track. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on to learn more about her services and expertise.

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