Relationships really don’t have to be difficult. The Gottman Institute has done over four decades of research in working with couples. They have found that is really isn’t rocket science. Try and look at your relationship as an emotional bank account. I’m sure you know how a bank account works. The more deposits you make the more it grows. It’s the same in your relationship. Small deposits into your emotional bank account will build trust, the friendship and intimacy. Here are twelve tips to help improve your relationship:
- Stay in touch. Our lives are busy, take time to call your partner during the day. You can also text or email. Make sure to return your partner’s message as soon as you get it.
- Stay in emotional contact. Kiss, hug and touch one another. Hold hands and play together. Touch is good for your emotional and physical health.
- Create mini-traditions. Small rituals can really hold a couple together. Whether it’s going out on a date every Saturday night or watching your favorite T.V. show together. This will give you both something to look forward to.
- Compliment, and often. You’re there to make each other feel good. Let the praise flow freely. If you like your partner’s outfit or hair today, then say it.
- Acknowledge positive actions. When you see positive actions or behavior in your partner, acknowledge it.
- Never, never forget to ask about your partner’s day. Sounds obvious, but so easy to forget. Especially when you have been together a long time.
- Small gifts go a long way. Bringing home flowers, their favorite candy or magazine. Never gets old.
- Go to a yoga class together. Or other class together. Not only will your partner thank you but your body will too.
- Plan small outings. Go to the farmer’s market this weekend or have brunch.
- Make out. Kissing often gets brushed aside the longer you have been together. Out of the blue initiate a make out session like you were in high school.
- Cultivate your appreciation. Spread the word. Tell others what you like and appreciate about your partner, post in on Facebook. This isn’t bragging, this gives you the chance to tell others how awesome your partner is. It will also remind you why you like them so much.
- …Breathe. Before you say something you’ll regret, take a breath and ask yourself is this really what you want to say? Chances are you will think of how to rephrase it.
See, that wasn’t difficult. The more you practice this in your relationship the easier it will become. We all want our partner to appreciate us and have our back no matter what. It really is about the math, the small things will add up. For more help in your relationship, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.