How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys and hopes? Knowing your partner’s Love Maps is one of the most important elements in a relationship. Take the time to have a conversation with your partner about their inner world. This will help build the friendship which will help improve the intimacy. Here are some questions you can ask your partner:
  1. I can name my partner’s best friends.
  2. I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.
  3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating in my partner’s current life.
  4. I can tell you some of my partner’s life dreams.
  5. I am very familiar with my partner’s religious beliefs and ideas.
  6. I can tell you about my partner’s basic philosophy of life.
  7. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
  8. I know my partner’s favorite music.
  9. I can list my partner’s three favorite movies.
  10. My partner is familiar with what are my current stresses.
  11. I know the three times that have been most special is my partner’s life.
  12. I can tell you the most stressful thing that happened to my partner as a child.
  13. I can list my partner’s major aspirations and hopes in life.
  14. I know my partner’s major current worries.
  15. My partner knows who my friends are.
  16. I know what my partner would want to do if he suddenly won the lottery.
  17. I can tell you, in detail, my first impressions of my partner.
  18. Periodically, I update my knowledge of my partner’s world.
  19. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
  20. My partner is familiar with my own hopes and aspirations.
No more than five of your answers should of been no. Couples are always asking for help in improving the intimacy in their relationship. Gottman’s research indicates that when couples have a good friendship they will have a satisfying intimate relationship. It’s never too late to start. Please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation, if you would like help.

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