As a Marriage & Family Therapist, a lot of people ask me if they should give their partner a second chance? They say they will change, but I’m just not sure, should I give them another chance? People also ask me, why do people go back only to get their heart broken, again and again. As human beings we are born desiring the closeness of another. If a baby is left alone they will eventually die. It’s natural to desire a relationship to not want to be alone. This is why I say hang on to your dreams, just make sure the person you are with loves and respects you for who you are.

Here are three questions to ask yourself – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
  1. Is your relationship good enough? This is a subjective, but effective measurement that always seems to work. Relationships are never perfect and at times can be somewhat difficult. But, in the good ones you should feel the trade-offs are worth it. He always leaves the toothpaste cap off, but he makes you laugh like no one ever has. He is messy, but he has never forgotten your birthday or anniversary. And so on. Trouble starts when the list of what is wrong outweighs the list of what is right.
  2. How much joy do you experience together? When you go away, just the two of you, is it fun? Can you talk about interesting things other than your children or house? Do you go out without the children? Do you spice things up in bed and make each other laugh? If you haven’t been enjoying one another lately, it’s not too late. There’s still a lot of possibility between the two of you. Spend time talking about what attracted the two of you to one another.
  3. Do you miss your partner when they are away? When is the last time you spent the weekend alone? Could you hardly wait for your partner to return? When is the last time you went away with your friends? Were you excited to see your partner when you returned home? Do you find yourself longing for your single days or envying your single friends? If you said yes to any of these questions, then it is time too seriously start thinking about getting help for your relationship.
I have completed Levels 1,2 & 3 trainings in Gottman Therapy for couples. I absolutely love counseling couples. If you are in a relationship and need help, then don’t be scared to ask for help. It can happen to anyone, you are not alone. Please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.

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