Seven Signs That You May Need Couples Counseling:

Do you feel like your relationship is chaotic? I hear this all the time, ‘the house is a mess, I can’t get anything done, you are always complaining, why didn’t you tell me this before we got married, our friends don’t come around anymore,  I never thought we would end up this way, or it’s just never enough.’ As many of you know I have been trained to use The Gottman Method for couples. This is a research based method that is used for treating high-conflict couples. It is also a practical approach which helps couples communicate more effectively and lovingly. If you are in a relationship and you have said any of these things about your partner, then you are in a high conflict relationship. Here are seven questions to ask yourself about your relationship:
  1. Is your life with your partner chaotic?
  2. Do you enjoy spending time with your partner, even if you are just spending time together running errands?
  3. Do you dream of what life would be like without your partner?
  4. Are you jealous of your single friends?
  5. Are you excited to see your partner at the end of the day?
  6. Do you go out on at least one date a week? A date is an evening out without the children. 
  7. Do you know one important thing about your partner’s day, before they leave the house in the morning?
Your answers to questions 1, 3, & 4 should be no, and your answers to question 2, 5, 6, & 7 should be yes. If they aren’t, then it’s time to call a Marriage & Family Therapist. 

Lianne Avila has worked with many couples and has found that many relationships go through highs and lows. Is this true of your relationship, or do you find it’s low most of the time? For more help, please visit

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