How many married people have you heard say, ‘I wish I would of taken advantage of my single years.’ Why is it, you just let them slip away? It’s so easy to think of what you don’t have. I think human beings are prone to think this way.
It’s true, when you are single you really do have more time. Now, I’m not saying that you don’t work hard. But, you also have more flexibility over your schedule. There is a lot of advice out there for singles. For example, how to snatch the perfect guy, where to meet the perfect guy, and so on. How about some advice for you being yourself while you are single.
Here are 6 tips for being single and happy:
- Stop criticizing yourself. This is one of the easiest things to do. I know that when you are single, it appears that everyone is happy and in love. In reality, this is not true. What happens is you start to compare yourself. This never ends good. I want you to stop criticizing yourself today, and start complimenting yourself. Write down three good qualities about yourself, now.
- Let yourself make mistakes. I know when you are dating, you want things to go perfectly. In reality, there is no perfect dating scenario. You are on your way to pick up your date, and there is unexpected traffic due to an accident. Your best friend keeps texting you while you are out on a date. And, the list goes on. What this means, is accept the process of dating. There will be mistakes. When people admit to their mistakes or talk about their mistakes, this can actually make your partner feel more comfortable with you. Then, they don’t feel like they have to be perfect.
- Do things alone. This may sound obvious. But, many single people fear doing things alone. I once had a friend that couldn’t even go to the grocery store alone. She was always worried about what others were thinking. Most of the time people don’t even notice that you are alone. Make it an adventure. Where have you been wanting to go? I want you to go there, alone. Talk to strangers and enjoy the day.
- Foster other relationships. Relationships can come and go. This is a great time to spend with family and friends. Nurture these relationships. Invite friends and family over for dinner, or to a concert. Make sure you offer your undivided attention to them, when you are with them. And, don’t spend the whole time complaining about being single.
- Learn to feel. It’s easy to keep your feelings in. Overtime, your feeling will build up. We have found in therapy it’s best to talk about your feelings. When you don’t talk about your feelings, you tend to stay stuck. If you are sad, angry or disappointed, then let it out. Just don’t hurt anyone else in the process. Make sure that you express your feelings of happiness, as well.
- Spend time getting to know yourself. Since I am a therapist, I am a big proponent of self awareness. Take this time to figure out what you want. What are your dreams? What has caused setbacks in your life? What things do you worry about? For example, are you always the planner? Does this help you have control in the situation? If that’s the case, work on why you are that way. Did you learn this as a child? Whatever the reason, try and figure it out. It’s only when you start to figure out why you do things, that you will change them.
This article could be helpful for anyone, but I have found this to be particularly helpful for singles. When you are single, it’s easy to feel like you have done something wrong and blame yourself. If you continue to do this, you may start to feel depressed. When you are single, the possibilities are endless. So, get out there and have some fun.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, located in San Mateo, CA. She has helped many singles bring happiness and joy into their life, while searching for the right partner. For more information, please call (650) 892-0357 or email (Lianne@LessonsforLove.com).