We’ve all been there. You are in line at the grocery store and your child sees something they must have. When I say must have, I mean right now. It could be candy or a toy. Whatever it is, doesn’t matter. Your child is making a scene and you are feeling embarrassed.
You wonder, where did this come from? Why is my child being so emotional right now? You tell your child to calm down. But, they don’t listen. People are starting to look, and you feel like the worst parent around.
You aren’t alone, all parents have gone through this. This could be a sign of stress. It’s important that you understand where your child is developmentally. (BTW, it’s alright to say no) Regardless, of where they are developmentally. Don't underestimate the importance of reducing stress in your child
As a parent the best thing you can do is remain calm in an incident like this. Remember to breathe, this too shall pass. Children have a range of feelings, and that is alright. What’s important is that you help them understand their feelings. This will help them as an adult. We have found in counseling, when you don’t express your feelings you tend to stay stuck.
Let’s face it, raising your kids after a divorce isn’t easy. You constantly worry how the divorce will affect them. You wonder if you did the right thing. And, co-parenting is not a walk in the park.
The divorce rate is nearly 50%. This means, you aren’t alone and you aren’t ruining your kids life. As a matter of fact, studies show children growing up in a high conflict home are actually more unhappy than children of divorce. If you are Christian, this can be a hard one to swallow.
If you strive to put your kids first, then you can actually learn to be a better parent. It’s not always going to be easy, especially in the beginning. The good news is you can work through it.
Of course, there are different stages. As an infant, your child is 100% dependent on you. The child see’s the parent as their whole world.
Of course, this will change. They will become more independent, but they will still need you. What’s important is that your child knows that you love them, no matter what. This means they need your time. This is the best gift you can give them.
It’s easy to get caught up in all of your other responsibilities, but they will always be there. Your child will grow up fast, so, spend as much time with your child as possible. This doesn’t mean you have to give up yourself in the process, but it does mean that your priorities will change.
The truth of the matter is, all parents make mistakes. This does not make you a bad person or a bad parent. So many parents feel guilty. You feel you aren’t doing enough for your child. When in reality, you are. You do the best you can with what you have as a parent.
What’s most important is that your child feels loved. When you become a parent, you are led to believe that you are supposed to be an expert as a parent. Truth be told, nobody is an expert at parenting. You usually do what your parents did, whether you liked it or not.
The good new is, there are lots of resources out there for you these days. So, take advantage of them. Talk to friends and family. Go to a parenting class. It’s good to hear different perspectives. After having children, a lot of parent put themselves last. Over time, you can burnout or become resentful. Here are 15 tips to help you take care of yourself as a parent. They aren’t only good for you but they are good for your family:
Maybe, you planned for your baby. You had it all figured out. You had the perfect furniture for the nursery. You felt supported by all your family and friends. Everything was going to be perfect. Or, maybe you didn’t plan for your baby. You had no idea how you were going to get through it.
Either way, after you had the baby you know things don’t always go as planned. You may have had many sleepless night. Maybe, your spouse wasn’t as supportive as you had expected. It took you longer than expected to recover from the pregnancy.
The best you thing you can do at this point, is let go of control. Learn to embrace the chaos. Your life has changed, drastically. Things usually have a way of working out. Try to go with the flow.
Here are 5 myths about parenting: