Let’s face it, raising your kids after a divorce isn’t easy. You constantly worry how the divorce will affect them. You wonder if you did the right thing. And, co-parenting is not a walk in the park.
The divorce rate is nearly 50%. This means, you aren’t alone and you aren’t ruining your kids life. As a matter of fact, studies show children growing up in a high conflict home are actually more unhappy than children of divorce. If you are Christian, this can be a hard one to swallow.
If you strive to put your kids first, then you can actually learn to be a better parent. It’s not always going to be easy, especially in the beginning. The good news is you can work through it.
Of course, there are different stages. As an infant, your child is 100% dependent on you. The child see’s the parent as their whole world.
Of course, this will change. They will become more independent, but they will still need you. What’s important is that your child knows that you love them, no matter what. This means they need your time. This is the best gift you can give them.
It’s easy to get caught up in all of your other responsibilities, but they will always be there. Your child will grow up fast, so, spend as much time with your child as possible. This doesn’t mean you have to give up yourself in the process, but it does mean that your priorities will change.
The truth of the matter is, all parents make mistakes. This does not make you a bad person or a bad parent. So many parents feel guilty. You feel you aren’t doing enough for your child. When in reality, you are. You do the best you can with what you have as a parent.
What’s most important is that your child feels loved. When you become a parent, you are led to believe that you are supposed to be an expert as a parent. Truth be told, nobody is an expert at parenting. You usually do what your parents did, whether you liked it or not.
The good new is, there are lots of resources out there for you these days. So, take advantage of them. Talk to friends and family. Go to a parenting class. It’s good to hear different perspectives. After having children, a lot of parent put themselves last. Over time, you can burnout or become resentful. Here are 15 tips to help you take care of yourself as a parent. They aren’t only good for you but they are good for your family:
Maybe, you planned for your baby. You had it all figured out. You had the perfect furniture for the nursery. You felt supported by all your family and friends. Everything was going to be perfect. Or, maybe you didn’t plan for your baby. You had no idea how you were going to get through it.
Either way, after you had the baby you know things don’t always go as planned. You may have had many sleepless night. Maybe, your spouse wasn’t as supportive as you had expected. It took you longer than expected to recover from the pregnancy.
The best you thing you can do at this point, is let go of control. Learn to embrace the chaos. Your life has changed, drastically. Things usually have a way of working out. Try to go with the flow.
Here are 5 myths about parenting:
I’m sure by now, you know parenting isn’t always as easy as it looks. I think what is most important is that you realize that you don’t have to be perfect. All good parents make mistakes. What’s important is that you learn from your mistakes, and repair after them.
Over the years I’ve worked with many children. What I hear parents say the most, is that they want their child to be happy and grow up to be a responsible adult. Many parents are worried that their child is too stressed out, and doesn’t have the tools to cope.
Children learn by observing their parents. They really do want to please their parents. Going through a divorce is stressful on everyone. Remember, your child isn’t getting a divorce, you are. Most of the time when I see a child, where the parents are going through a divorce. The main complaint is that the child feels anxious.
There are many reasons why the child feels this way. This means there is not one easy solution. You don’t want your child to feel like they are in the middle, and you want to make the transition of going from one house to the other as smooth as possible. In the beginning it will be challenging.
Here are 5 tips to help decrease anxiety in your child when going…