"Watch for Red Flags!" by Penny Ray


"It's the not knowing aspect of breast cancer that increases the emotionality in regard to all your relationships." Katherine Puckett 

Breast Cancer's Relationship Toll: For many women breast cancer is not only a major physical battle but it is also an emotional battle. It can affect every relationship in your life. From friendships to romance, from being a parent to being a daughter, the way your relate to everyone and the way they relate to you - can be affected. 

For some women, breast cancer can be the catalyst that turns casual friendships into deep meaningful friendships, it can bring couples closer, and help family units bond and become stronger. Although, for others it can be a lonely and isolating time. It can be a time where the people we counted on most disappear. 

So, what determines how breast cancer will affect your life. Some of the experts have said, it's often linked to a willingness to share your burden with others. For many women, this is not easy. Women are the caregivers. We are used to taking care of everyone else and it can be difficult to give up of some of that control. Even when women have breast cancer they still want to handle everything. Here are three tips that can be helpful if you have breast cancer and you are in a relationship:

  1. Let go of perfectionism. No, really, it doesn't have to be perfect and your partner may have other ideas that work just as well.
  2. Stay in the present. It's easy to get caught up in 'what could happen.' While you are going through treatment you need to remain strong and obsessing on the future will only drain you.
  3. Ask for help! There is no other way to say it. You know what you need and this is a time that you will need to reach out. Start a meal train for yourself and family, ask for rides to doctor's appointments and ask for financial help, if you need it.
Do not worry that others will think you are selfish or careless because you did not plan for breast cancer. How many people really do? After going through breast cancer three times, most recently in September of this year. I am glad to say that I have beat it and the doctor's can't find a trace of it in my body. I know first hand how it feels to hear 'you have breast cancer.' If you find after reading this article you need more help, please call me for a consultation at (650) 892-0357.

Contact Information

Office Location 
Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

Map & Directions


Contact Us  Get Directions