How to Break Out of a Bad Mood:
Believe it or not, how you feel can affect how your partner feels. When you wake up in the morning are you excited for the day, or are you thinking here we go again? When you come home at the end of the day do you know your partner is excited to see you, or do they ignore you? While you are away from your partner do you know they are thinking fondly of you, or do you wonder if they are thinking negatively about you? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then this is the article for you.
Here are 10 cognitive distortions that could be causing your partner to turn away from you:
- All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories.
- Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
- Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives.
- Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities "don't count."
- Jumping to conclusions: (A) Mind reading - you assume that people are reacting negatively to you when there's no definite evidence for this; (B) Fortune-telling - you arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly.
- Magnification or minimization: You blow things way up out of proportion or you shrink their importance inappropriately.
- Emotional reasoning: You reason from how you feel: "I feel like and idiot, so I really must be one." Or, "I don't feel like doing this, so I'll put it off."
- "Should statements": You criticize yourself or other people with "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts." "Musts," oughts," and have tos" are similar offenders.
- Labeling: You identify with your shortcomings. Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you tell yourself, "I'm a jerk," or "a fool," or "a loser."
- Personalization and blame: You blame yourself or something you weren't entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that your own attitudes and behavior might contribute to a problem.