Even the best of relationships have problems. What's different is that couples learn how to repair after an argument. This means that you need to talk about it. I know this is not what everyone wants to hear. This is a great way to help build understanding in the relationship. "You must understand the problem before you can solve the problem." Gottman
The Gottman's research found that 69% of problems in a relationship aren't solvable. So, why don't you try to stop solving your relationship problems? Sounds simple, right? If you are in a relationship or have been in a relationship, then you know it's not always that simple. It starts with a conversation. This means one person is the speaker and one is the listener. You each get a turn at each role.
Talking about money in a relationship, can be stressful. But, you really need to talk about this one. I know, no one likes to hear let's talk about the budget. When you go into a relationship, you each come from a different family of origin. This means that you each have a different language. I have found that many couples have a different language (aka-belief system) about money.
After a while, you are going to have to talk about money. This can start when you are dating. This is not a problem that will go away if you ignore it, or don't talk about it. That will actually make it worse in the long run. Make sure that you are gentle with this conversation. Some people are more traditional and feel the man should pay for everything. Although, times are changing and many people are alright going dutch. Whatever, you choose make sure you are comfortable with the decision. Also, make sure this is a decision that you both feel good about.
At the beginning of a relationship, you are developing the foundation for how you handle money in your relationship. It's important that you both know what is coming in and what is going out. This means you need to start talking about money. You also…
Your Emotional Bank Account is empty! What, how did this happen? Does this mean that one more withdrawal could make it overdrawn, or worse yet close it? This can definitely happen after you have been in a relationship for a while.
In the beginning you put your relationship first. But, now you have work, home and a family. This doesn’t leave much time for your relationship. What happened to date night? Can you remember the last time that you went out on a date with your partner? If the answer is no, then you are at risk of becoming overdrawn.
There are many ways to build back up your emotional bank account. It’s important that you start to prioritize your relationship, again. If you have been in a relationship for a while, then you know relationships are about giving and receiving.
Are you having problems in your relationship? If you answered yes, you aren’t alone. Even the best of couples, have relationship problems. It’s easy to feel stressed out these days. You have a family and a job. So, where does your relationship fit in? Many people go into a relationship, thinking it will make them happy and reduce stress. Many couples find out, this is not the case.
At first it is bliss. Your partner can’t do anything wrong. But, after a while things change. You begin to see your partner as a real human being, flaws and all. This may start to make you feel unloved and stressed out.
You are told that money will make you happy. Maybe, you didn’t have much money growing up, or maybe you had everything. Whatever the case, you don’t want to let money define the relationship.
We live in a country that puts a high value on money. This can leave you feeling like you don’t have enough. You really can’t buy love. Money cannot replace the time you spend with your loved ones. It also can’t take back the past or predict the future.
The truth of the matter, is you need money to survive in this country. It will put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table. This is something everybody needs. So, why is money the root of all evil? For many, money is power and status. You really need to be careful here. If you idolize people with money, you will not see them for who they really are.
I see a lot of couples in my practice, and a lot of them have issues with money. They have different beliefs about money. This can come from family of origin, society and gender roles. The first order of business is to start to understand your partner’s beliefs about money. Without understanding you won’t understand why money…