Relationship Challenges

Relationship Challenges

Learn how relationships problems cause anxiety, and what you can do about it.

More and more you are hearing about anxiety. What this means is that you are stressed out. When you are stressed out and you don't have a coping mechanism, it will turn into anxiety.

So, can relationship problems cause anxiety? 

The answer is yes. Learn what you can do about it before it's too late.

Studies show that couples wait a minimum of seven years before they go to therapy for their relationship problems. What does this mean? You may already have an anxiety disorder. The truth of the matter is, that if you wait too long you might not be able to help it.

This means that the earlier an intervention is made the better. Even if the problems seem small, the sooner you get help for your relationship the better.

Here are 8 tips that can with anxiety that is being caused from your relationship:

  1. Spend time with friends and family. These are the people that support you the most. The next time you are feeling stressed out, give one of them a call. Instead of talking about what is stressing you out, talk about what you like. Let them know about the latest podcast you just heard, or about the friendly guy you were talking to in the grocery store line. If you can’t think of anything, then invite them out on a fun…

Read more: Can Relationship Problems Cause Anxiety?

The emotional bank account paradigm. What does that mean? And, what is your balance?

I'm sure you know how a bank account works. When you make deposits the bank account will grow. When you make withdrawals the bank account doesn't grow. It can also become overdrawn and become at risk of closing. 

Learn how to use the emotional bank account paradigm in your relationship.

The Gottman Institute for Couples found that the best way to make your emotional bank account grow, is to have lots of small deposits over a long period of time. This means if you make one large deposit now and then, it won't help your emotional bank account. It could even hurt your emotional bank account. This means you need lots of meaningful deposits over a long period of time.

Here are 11 small tips that will help you build the emotional bank account paradigm in your relationship:

  1. Say thank you often. This is one of those small deposits that will help build your emotional bank account. Try to be specific. For example, thank your husband when he listened to you vent about your day at the office.

  2. Say I appreciate often. This is another small deposit in your emotional bank account. Let your husband know that you appreciate how hard he works for the family, or, that he picked up dinner on the way home from the office.

  3. Complain don't blame. This means don't criticize one another. Learn…

Read more: Why You May Want To Consider Using The Emotional Bank Account Paradigm In Your Relationship

Learn how you can solve relationship problems without fighting. Start with understanding.

Even the best of relationships have problems. What's different is that couples learn how to repair after an argument. This means that you need to talk about it. I know this is not what everyone wants to hear. This is a great way to help build understanding in the relationship. "You must understand the problem before you can solve the problem." Gottman

Learn how to discuss relationship problems without fighting. 

The Gottman's research found that 69% of problems in a relationship aren't solvable. So, why don't you try to stop solving your relationship problems? Sounds simple, right? If you are in a relationship or have been in a relationship, then you know it's not always that simple. It starts with a conversation. This means one person is the speaker and one is the listener. You each get a turn at each role.

Here are 4 helpful tips on how to discuss relationship problems without fighting:

  • Work on understanding one another’s belief system. You didn’t just wake up one day and have your belief system. It started long ago in childhood. You learn your beliefs about relationships from your family of origin. How did your parents make decisions? Were you included in making decisions? The more you talk to one another about your belief system and where it came from, the more you will understand one another. This…

Read more: How To Discuss Relationship Problems Without Fighting

Are you tired of having money and relationship problems. Here are five tips that can help with that.

Talking about money in a relationship, can be stressful. But, you really need to talk about this one. I know, no one likes to hear let's talk about the budget. When you go into a relationship, you each come from a different family of origin. This means that you each have a different language. I have found that many couples have a different language (aka-belief system) about money.

That is why money and relationship problems go together.

After a while, you are going to have to talk about money. This can start when you are dating. This is not a problem that will go away if you ignore it, or don't talk about it. That will actually make it worse in the long run. Make sure that you are gentle with this conversation. Some people are more traditional and feel the man should pay for everything. Although, times are changing and many people are alright going dutch. Whatever, you choose make sure you are comfortable with the decision. Also, make sure this is a decision that you both feel good about.

At the beginning of a relationship, you are developing the foundation for how you handle money in your relationship. It's important that you both know what is coming in and what is going out. This means you need to start talking about money. You also…

Read more: The Uncomfortable Link Between Money And Relationship Problems

Learn how to make deposits when your emotional bank account is empty.

Your Emotional Bank Account is empty! What, how did this happen? Does this mean that one more withdrawal could make it overdrawn, or worse yet close it? This can definitely happen after you have been in a relationship for a while.

Learn what to do when your emotional bank account is empty.

In the beginning you put your relationship first. But, now you have work, home and a family. This doesn’t leave much time for your relationship. What happened to date night? Can you remember the last time that you went out on a date with your partner? If the answer is no, then you are at risk of becoming overdrawn.

There are many ways to build back up your emotional bank account. It’s important that you start to prioritize your relationship, again. If you have been in a relationship for a while, then you know relationships are about giving and receiving.

Here are 10 ways to build your emotional bank account:

  1. Listen to your partner.

    This is one of the kindest things you can do for your partner. I have seen a lot of couples in my practice, and I hear this a lot, ‘I don’t feel heard.’ Set aside time each day to talk about your day with your partner. Make sure you both get a chance to speak.

  2. Touch your partner.

    Everyone…

Read more: What To Do When Your Emotional Bank Account Is Empty

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