Finding the right person can be difficult, but once it happens you've got to deal with the task of maintenance. This means keeping things fresh and finding time to spend with one another. This means prioritizing your relationship. When a couple enters a relationship, it's on the top of the list. This means having fun together. As time goes on, this changes. Work, the house and the children take priority. Having fun together is essential in a relationship. The two go together. If you aren't having fun together, then you are slowly killing your relationship. Here are ten tips to help you put fun back at the top of the list in your relationship:
- Put away all electronic gadgets. We have been conditioned to think we can't live without them, but we can. You really don't need to be plugged in all day or all night, for that matter.
- Talk to couples over 65 years old. Get relationship tips from other couples. See what you can take away for your relationship. Ask them how they have kept the love alive and how they have gotten through the difficult times?
- Stop and appreciate everything your relationship is right now. When you've been in a relationship for a while, it's easy to focus on the negative. Start focusing on the positive and tell your partner about it.
- Pitch in. Instead of waiting for your partner to ask you for help around the house, just start pitching in with the chores.
- Create mini-traditions. This is also known as building rituals of connection in your relationship. This is what holds a relationship together. They will become "your thing." Whether it's planning a fancy night out or watching your favorite T.V. show together every week. It will give you something to look forward to.
- Never, never forget to ask about your partner's day. This is one of those small things that can easily be forgotten about. But, it makes a Big difference in your relationship.
- Take responsibility for your own happiness. At the end of the day the only person we can hold accountable for our own happiness is ourselves. Do what satisfies your soul: going to a yoga class, volunteering or having a girls night out.
- Touch, cuddle and play together. Touch helps connect us, make ample time for it. It doesn't matter if it leads to sex or not.
- Check your competitive edge. You and your partner need to support one another, not compete with one another. This will help create a win/win in the relationship. Rather than, the I win/we lose.
- Embrace your common goals. What would you both like to accomplish? Can you support each other to reach these goals? This will be what you hold onto in the long run. It's alright if you don't have the same goals, you just need to be supportive of them. This will help create shared meaning in the relationship.
Start with one of these today. Remember, small steps lead to big steps. Find ways to communicate with your partner where you both feel good. No joke, laughter really is the best medicine.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples become the best they can be together. For more information please reach out. Lianne is available for a phone consultation as well as therapy services in San Mateo, CA. You can reach her directly at (650) 892-0357.