"A ritual becomes a mask that lights the kindred celebration candle of sacred moments long ago... tantalizing these entombed spirits to surface again." Wes Adamson
When you are in a relationship it's very important to have a sense of shared meaning in your lives together. When you are in a relationship you create a new culture. Some relationships involve the union of two very different cultures. Even if you come from the same region, ethnic, or religious background; you both come from different families and upbringings. Here are some questions for The Gottman Questionnaire on rituals of connection:
Read each statement and answer true or false:
- We see eye-to-eye about the rituals that involve dinner time at our home.
- Holiday meals (such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Passover) are very special and happy times for us.
- Reunions at the end of the day in our home are generally special times in my day.
- We see eye-to-eye about the role of TV in our home.
- Bedtime is generally a good time for being close.
- During weekends, we do a lot of things together that we enjoy and value.
- We have the same values about entertaining in our home (having friends over, parties, etc.).
- We both value special celebrations (such as birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions).
- When I become sick, I feel taken care of and loved by my partner.
- I really look forward to and enjoy our vacations and travel we do together.
- The mornings together are special times for me.
- When we do errands together, we generally have a good time.
- We have ways of becoming renewed and refreshed when we are burned out or fatigued.
- We share many similar values in our roles as partners.
- We share many similar values in our roles as parents.
- We have many similar views about what it means to be a good friend to others.
- My partner and I have compatible views about the role of work in one's life.
- My partner and I have similar philosophies about balancing work and family life.
- My partner supports what I would see as my basic mission in life.