Relationship Challenges

"Never close your lips to those whom you have already
opened your heart." Charles Dickens


The truth about relationships, is your partner doesn't have to be perfect. Everywhere you look these days their are photos or movies about a perfect relationship and a perfect life. How many people do you know that actually have that life? You don't have to be perfect to be happy. How about striving for the good enough relationship. This may help take some of the unnecessary pressure off of the relationship. Here are five facts about happy couples:

  1. Greeting and departing. This may sound obvious but it is easy in our busy world to forget the simple things. Make sure to greet your partner at the end of the day. This means putting your cell phone down and having a conversation with your partner. When departing make sure you know at least one important thing about your partner's day.
  2. Six-second kiss. Remember kissing, it only takes six seconds to have a physiological reaction. The kiss doesn't have to lead to sex, although its alright if it does. This is a good way to stay in emotional contact with your partner. 
  3. Express fondness and admiration, often. This is another one that couples simply forget. Make sure to tell your partner what you like about them. You can write it on a note or send it in a text. The important thing is that you say it, the more specific the better. For example, 'I really like how you can add a positive spin on things.'
  4. Listen, listen, listen. Take a genuine interest in what your partner has to say. This isn't a time where you judge your partner. This will help reduce stress for your partner and this will also make them feel loved. Only give feedback if they ask for it.
  5. Weekly date. This is alone time with your partner. If you take the kids, then it doesn't count as a date. This is a time where you can discuss things about the relationship. Ask questions, this will help build the friendship in the relationship, which will also help build intimacy.
If you're already doing this, then good for you. If you're not, it's never too late to start. It's easy over time to put your relationship last on the list. Work, children, the house, finances, etc. seem to become more important over time. Start with the small things. Over time the small things will add up and make a big difference. For more help, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation. 

Contact Information

Office Location 
Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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