I am not in control of others, but I am in control of myself.
That's right, you heard me. Are you stuck in the negative sentiment override (NSO)? Unfortunately, it can happen to the best of couples. It just slowly chips away at your relationship. The Gottman's research has show that when you are in a relationship and you are stuck in the NSO, 50% of the time you don't even notice the positive things that your partner is doing. Take the quiz below to see if you are stuck in the NSO?
Answer True or False to the following questions:
- I felt hurt.
- I felt misunderstood.
- I thought, "I don't have to take this."
- I felt innocent of blame for this problem.
- I thought to myself, "Just get up and leave."
- I was angry.
- I felt disappointed.
- I felt unjustly accused.
- I thought, "My partner has no right to say those things."
- I was frustrated.
- I felt personally attacked.
- I wanted to strike back.
- I felt like I was warding off a barrage.
- I felt like getting even.
- I wanted to protect myself.
- I took my partner's complaints as slights.
- I felt like my partner was trying to control me.
- I thought that my partner was very manipulative.
- I felt unjustly criticized.
- I wanted the negativity to just stop.