|"Never love anybody that treats you like you are ordinary." Oscar Wilde|
Even the very best relationships require some sacrifice. How committed you are to the relationship is related to the quality of the relationship. A relationship is a long term investment. Think of it like you are saving for retirement. The more you put in it the more you will have for later in life. Here are four tips to help get through the tough times in a relationship:
- Accept influence from your partner. This means trying new things with your partner. This has been researched in The Gottman Lab (a.ka. The Love Lab). Your partner will be more open to your ideas, if you are more open to their ideas. For example, try the French restaurant your partner keeps talking about, or take the dance lessons your partner has been asking you to take.
- Complain without blame. State what you need from your partner. It's easy to get caught up in what you don't like about your partner. Keep it about you and use "I" statements. For example, 'I feel sad when you don't talk to me when you get home from work.' This way you won't put your partner on the defense.
- Keep working on the friendship. Couples that have a strong friendship have more intimacy in their relationship. This has been reported by both, men and women. Take a genuine interest in your partner. Spend quality time together. Think positive thoughts about your partner while you are away from one another. Make your partner your best friend.
- Be good to yourself. That's right; make sure you don't always put yourself last. Get enough rest, exercise and eat healthy foods. Get a massage, have a cup of coffee with a friend. It's alright to nurture your own hobbies, whatever they might be.
Relationships don't have to be difficult or painful. As a matter of fact, they shouldn't be. Your partner should be someone you enjoy being with and someone you can trust. We all want to know that our partner has our back no matter what. For more help, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.