"The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends." B.R. Ambedkar

Relationships really don't have to be difficult. It's important to maintain a healthy attitude about your relationship. Here are five helpful tips:

  1. Couples that play together stay together. In The Gottman Method for Couples, we have found that the longer couples stay together the less likely they are to prioritize fun. Make fun a priority in your relationship and laugh together.
  2. Think fondly of one another while you are away from one another. Remember the good times with your partner and what you like about your partner. Surprise your partner with a text or phone call during the day. Make sure to be specific when you are telling your partner what you like. For example, I really like how you listened to me last night when I was complaining about work. You are so understanding.
  3. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Let's face it, nobody likes demands but everybody can compromise. Another interesting fact The Gottman Institute has found in their research, the way you start a conversation will predict how you end that conversation, and sets a tone for the conversation every time it comes up in the relationship. If you want to have your parents over for dinner and you know your partner may not like that, offer to do the cooking and the cleaning, and make sure you say it nicely.
  4. Sound it out. Make sure you communicate with one another. Set aside time to talk out the tough subjects. Another fact about The Gottman Research, we have found the best time to have a discussion is when your heart rate is well below 100. If your heart rate is over 100, then you are flooded and will go into fight or flight, and say things that you will later regret. It takes at least twenty minutes to get your heart rate down. This can be done with deep breathing. 
  5. Keep your eyes on the prize. Stop keeping score and focus on filling up your emotional bank account. Yes, he forgot to pick up milk at the store but this doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Remember, he is actually very responsible and picks up after himself at home.
Not only will this help with relationship bliss, this will also help with intimacy in your relationship. This will also help you get through the difficult times in your relationship. For more help, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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