So very true


When you rebuild the friendship in your relationship you will increase the intimacy in your relationship. Many couples want help with this. It's true for both, men and women. The best way to improve the intimacy in your relationship is to work on the friendship. Here are five tips to help you do so:

  1. Express appreciations about your partner regularly. It's easy to forget this when you have been in a relationship for a while. Write down your appreciations on a piece of paper and stick it on the mirror, text your partner during the day or tell them when you are departing in the morning. An appreciation can be something as simple as 'I appreciate your smile.'
  2. Say Thank you regularly. Tell your partner what you are thankful for. For example, tell your partner you are thankful they are in your life. That they brighten up your day. You love to see them at the end of the day.
  3. Think fondly of your partner while you are away from one another. Think positive thoughts of one another while away from one another. Think of a fun date you recently went on or send positive thoughts to your partner. When you see each other at the end of the day this will make a world of difference.
  4. Stop saying 'you' statements. This will make your partner feel criticized and isolated in the relationship. Learn to rephrase your 'you' statements. Tell your partner what you need. For example, I need you to play a game with the family tonight.
  5. Learn to receive your partner's bids. This is based from The Gottman Study. Couples are always making bids towards one another. This can be eye-contact, a smile, humor, etc. It's important to respond to your partner's bids. Learn what your partner's bids are and make a genuine effort to respond positively. 
This will help steer you in the right direction. For more help, please call me at (650) 892-0357. The Gottman Method is backed with over forty years of research. The best part is that the first three sessions are designed as an assessment. This helps let me know where the couple is and how I can help.

Contact Information

Office Location 
Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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