"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times." Gay Hendricks

It's true, disagreements and even arguments are a normal part of being human. I mean really, if we all got along all the time, life could get boring. Couples are always asking me for help with communication. Most couples are stuck in attack and defend mode. I often train couples on how to listen to one another. Although, this may sound obvious when you are in the middle of an argument, it's not always obvious.


Couples are always telling me that they say the same thing over and over, but nothing changes. One thing I have found is that when you are in a relationship it needs to be equal. In a relationship there are two people and both people are valuable. The next time you find yourself in an argument with your partner stay away from saying:

  • You Never
  • You Always
  • Anything Insulting or Acting Superior
Everybody has limitations, stop pointing out your partner's limitations and throwing them in their face. This is when the damage is done. When you are in an argument don't act superior with your partner. Remember, they are human and they have feelings too.
For some this may sound easy or even obvious, but for others this can be a struggle. If you find after reading this article that you and your partner are still having difficulty communicating, please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation.




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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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