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Daily strategies to move from knowing to being

Day 1

Begin with gratitude

As you awake in the morning, take the first few minutes to think about what you love about your partner. Stay with that thought and reminiscence about the good times in your relationship. It could be the first time you met, the first time you saw your partner smile or a favorite song that the two of you have. Now, set your intention to go into your day with that loving feeling. It may not last all day but the fact that you did it first thing in the morning will help make it become a habit. 

Day 2

Manage your mind

This can also be known as meditation. Choose a space in your house where you will not be disturbed. Ideally the space should be clean and clutter free. Once your space is ready, sit down in a cross-legged position and gently rest your hands on your knees. Relax, gently close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Next bring your attention to your breath. Slowly inhale and exhale for a minimum of 10 minutes. Try this in the morning before you start your day. This helps calm the mind.

Day 3

This is your life

First, remind yourself of the gratitude exercise you did on Day 1. Think about what you truly love about your partner and feel grateful to be alive. Next, move on to thinking about what you truly want in your life that you do not have. Take time time to visualize it. Make sure that none of your desires are at the expense of your partner - there is no room for envy in a relationship. Make your vision come alive:  Is it seeing yourself start your own business or writing a book? How does that look? Is it seeing yourself as a more loving and generous person? If so, how does that look? Write down your dreams in a journal and let these visions work their way into your daily gratitude practice.

Day 4

Recognition and reward

We are socialized or maybe even told, not to think we are special. You must be your number one fan; not in a selfish way but in a loving way. Make a list of 25 things you love about yourself and a list of what you would like to treat yourself to. It can be chocolate, a massage, a facial, weekend getaway or your dream vacation. Reflect on where, when and how you will get these treats. Start with the small ones and go out and do it. For the larger ones, start formulating a plan. Take some concrete action like searching online for flights.

Day 5

Stop!

Take time today to indulge yourself and do absolutely nothing. If you have followed all the exercises on a daily basis (which of course you have), chances are you may need a break today. Today is about gently relaxing and letting your experiences settle. Today is a 'do nothing day'. Don't think about all you've done this week and don't touch your journal. Watch a comedy or spend loving time with your partner.

Day 6

Time management

Keep a time diary for a week. Write down how much time you have spent on what activities. It is likely to shock you at what you spend your time on. Think long and hard about what activities should be increased or decreased. The first question you should ask, is 'am I spending enough time with my partner doing things together that we enjoy as a couple?' Now, what activities can I cut back on, so, I will have plenty of time for my partner.

Day 7

Look forward . . . to the next 7 days!

Do your remember what your thoughts were at the beginning of this journey? Now that you are at the end of this 7 day process, are you where you expected to be? Let Day 7 inspire the next 7 days. There is truly no end and no beginning. There is only the present moment, here and now.

"To insure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life." William Londen

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Lianne Avila, MFT
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San Mateo, CA 94404

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