Relationship Challenges

"The one who is meant for you encourages you to be your best, but still loves and accepts you at your worst." Marc Chernoff


Loving your partner for the person they are
Maybe you wish your partner would chat it up with your friends without being prompted or put the cap on the toothpaste. But, their inability to notice crumbs on the counter may stem from the laid-back personality that drew you to them in the first place. One of the things I've noticed with happy couples is they have stopped trying to change one another and have learned to accept one another. They try to focus on their partner's strengths and not their weaknesses.

Framing your demands as favors
Whether you want your partner to take the kids to school or help cook dinner, your partner will be more likely to change their behavior if they feel like they'll get relationship brownie points. Instead of telling your partner, ask your partner. Make sure to let your partner know how happy it makes you when they help with dinner or the kids. Everyone wants to make their partner feel happy.

Focusing on the positive
Unhappy couples feel stuck, they focus on the negative about their partner. If you are always looking for what your partner does wrong, then you will always find it. Start looking for what your partner does right. Instead of keeping score of what your partner does wrong keep score of what you partner does right. While your partner is at work think good thoughts about them. Remember, your mindset is a choice.

Never side with the enemy
Here your partner goes again complaining about the boss. I know you are tired of hearing it but, one of the best ways to affair-proof your relationship is by simply being there when they need to vent. It is important to be supportive and never take the side of the person your partner is venting about. This may seem difficult when you can relate to the person they are venting about. For example, if your partner is upset that their boss has given them too many projects, now is not the time to say, "Well, you're not very organized." Right now your partner needs to be validated, and to hear you say, "Your boss just doesn't realize how hard you work." Happy couples know when to bite their tongues.

Contact Information

Office Location 
Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

Map & Directions

Address: 1510 Fashion Island Blvd. Suite 110 San Mateo, CA 94404


Contact Us  Get Directions