Relationship Challenges

Take better care of yourself, today. This will help you and your family.

Having too much stress, can negatively impact your life. Especially your relationship. When you feel overwhelmed, you may start to disconnect. When this happens your partner will begin to feel left out.

Your partner may also feel they have done something wrong. But, in reality you are feeling overwhelmed from the stress in your life. I see this happen a lot. Life takes over and you put everyone else first. If this goes on too long, you will begin to feel burnt out.

Take better care of yourself, today.

Self-care is taking care of your mind, body, and soul. Start by assessing your needs. Next, take action on that assessment. 

Here are 10 self care tips, that will help you in your relationship:

  1. Get organized to help your self care. This means organizing the space you live in. You want to be able to find your keys and wallet easily. You don't want to have a lot of clutter around. You will feel weighed down. When you bring new things in, clear old things out. This is good for your mind.

  2. Let a pet help you with your self care. Your pet will give you unconditional love. Make sure you spend quality time with your pet. Hug your pet and enjoy spending time with your pet. They have actually been known to help with the symptoms of depression, and decrease the symptoms of PTSD.

  3. Take a self care trip. Getting away for a weekend can help you disconnect and relax. Even if you aren't feeling particularly stressed out. Make sure you spend within your means. It doesn't feel good when you get back, and realize you have a bunch of debt from your weekend getaway. Visiting with family or going camping can help cut costs.

  4. Eat nutritious foods for self care. The food you eat can keep your mind alert. Not to mention it is good for your body. Eat more fruits, vegetables and lean proteins. Stick with a low carbohydrate diet. You don't want to have high sugar snacks, or foods that will weigh you down.

  5. Plan regular self care time. This may sound impossible right now. If that's the case, then start small. You can schedule 10 minutes for yourself in the morning. You may play with your pet, write in your journal or have a cup of coffee. Spend time with friends watching a movie or comedy. Whatever it is, just take time for yourself regularly.

  6. Exercise daily as part of your self care routine. I see a lot of people neglect this one. Exercise helps you physically and mentally. I think a lot of people know this, but this is the first one I see people remove from their calendar. If you can't get to the gym, then go for a walk. If you can get fresh air, all the better. Try a yoga class. This incorporates both mind and body. Start to make time for exercise, you won't regret it.

  7. Take time to get outside. Getting outside can help lower your blood pressure, reduce stress and help you be more mindful. If you go for a walk, slow down. Actually feel your feet hit the ground. If there are trees and flowers around, actually stop and look at them. Notice any small details they may have. Getting outside can also help you sleep better at night.

  8. Make sleep a priority. This is one I see people cut a lot. When you don't get enough sleep you are more forgetful, and it's harder to focus. Start by taking a close look at your night time routine. Are you drinking a lot of liquid before bed? Are you drinking caffeinated drinks or sugary snacks? How about electronic gadgets? These need to be shut down an hour before bed. Make sure your room is dark, and that you have darkening curtains over the windows. This way you won't be awoken by early morning sun.

  9. Set boundaries and say no to others for your self care. This means stop saying no when you mean yes. I know this can be really hard for some people. You may feel like you are letting others down. The truth of the matter is, you are letting others down. But, if you don't start saying no today you will end up feeling resentful and burn out. It may take a little practice, but after a while it will feel natural.

  10. Stay engaged in your self care plan. There are many ways you can stay engaged in your self care plan. Begin by making your self care plan a priority. Have a friend or family member help keep you accountable. You can also read about self care strategies.

This is the first step in starting your happiness journey. It really is true you can't make anybody else happy, unless you can make yourself happy. This is something you don't have to feel guilty about. Start with one of these strategies today. You will begin to feel better about yourself and your relationship.

If you liked this article, there are more in Relationship Challenges. These tips will help you begin to feel better about your relationship.

Lianne Avila is a Marriage & Family Therapist helping couples in San Mateo, CA who are looking to rebuild a close emotional connection and get their relationship back on track. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on www.LessonsforLove.com to learn more about her services and expertise.

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