Relationship Challenges

Relationship Challenges

Learn what the negative sentiment override is, and how to get out of it.

You heard it right. If you don’t know what the negative sentiment override is, then let me tell you.

The Gottmans have done over four decades of research with couples. They found that couples either have the positive sentiment override, or the negative sentiment override.

When you are stuck in the negative sentiment override, 50% of the time you don’t notice the positive in the relationship. Meaning, even when things are going well the relationship is ridden with the negative sentiment override.

When the relationship is in the positive sentiment override. You know when your husband tells you he’ll be home for dinner he is. Or, if he calls and tells you he’s stuck in traffic you know he is. You aren’t constantly doubting the relationship or thinking negatively of your partner. You also have positive things to say about your partner to your friends and family.

Answer true or false to the following questions to find out if you are stuck in the negative sentiment override:

 

  1. I felt hurt.
  2. I felt misunderstood.
  3. I thought, "I don't have to take this."
  4. I felt innocent of blame for this problem.
  5. I thought to myself, "Just get up and leave."
  6. I was angry.
  7. I felt disappointed.
  8. I felt unjustly accused.
  9. I thought, "My partner has no right to say those things."
  10. I was frustrated.
  11. I…

Read more: Are You Stuck In The Negative Sentiment Override In Your Relationship?

We all know money causes relationship problems. Learn how to manage these problems

Men and women have been arguing about money since the beginning of time. Maybe, you make a lot of money, maybe you don’t. Whether you do or not, you still have your differences about money. Is your partner more of a saver? Are you more of a spender? You can have your differences about money and still have a happy marriage.

What you first need to do is take a close look at why money causes relationship problems.

Do you avoid talking about these issues? Do you hide the credit card bill? Do you tell your child not to tell dad what you bought? If you said yes to any of these questions, then there are problems with money in your relationship.

A nurturing and supportive relationship requires honesty and understanding. Your beliefs about money go way back. You learned them from your family of origin. How did your parents communicate about money? Did they argue a lot about money? Did you feel the playing ground was equal, or did one person make all the decisions about spending. Maybe, you grew up in an environment that was chaotic, and decisions were made impulsively about spending.

The first step is sitting down with your partner and having a conversations about where your beliefs came from about money. You need to be gentle in the conversation. Don’t start…

Read more: Learn Why Money Causes Relationship Problems & What To Do About It

Can you think of at least 10 ways to love someone? It's not that difficult, start with saying, thank you.

How do you show love to your partner? That is the question. What is the first thing you think of when you hear, 10 ways to love someone?

Most of the time you show love the way you receive love. For example, if you like to touch, then you may hold your partners hand. If you like to receive compliments, then you may compliment your partner on how smart they are.

There are many ways to show love. What’s important is that your partner gets that you are showing and expressing love towards them. If you have been in a relationship for a while, then you know relationships are about giving and receiving.

Here are 10 Ways To Love Someone:

  1. Listen to your partner. This is one of the kindest things you can do for your partner. I have seen a lot of couples in my practice, and I hear this a lot, ‘I don’t feel heard.’ Set aside time each day to talk about your day with your partner. Make sure you both get a chance to speak.
  2. Touch your partner.Everyone likes to be touched by the one they love. You can hold hands or rub up against one another in a playful way. After you have been in a relationship for a while, this one can be overlooked. Make sure you touch and…

Read more: 10 Ways To Love Someone (That Are Really Simple)

Learn why money causes problems in your relationship and what you can do about it.

Is money the root of all evil? Can you learn why money causes problems in your relationship?

That really is the question. How often do you come across somebody that doesn’t want to make more money? I’m sure you probably want to make more money yourself. But, then what happens? You no sooner start making more money, and it’s not enough. Perfect example of money causing problems

So, how does this play out in your relationship? Whether both people in a relationship work outside the home, or one works outside the home. Money matters will always come up in a relationship. Let me just say, if you have decided to stay home with the children and take care of the house, then you have a full time job. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Unfortunately, in our society money equals power. It’s been that way for a long time. So, if you are the one staying home or you make less than your partner, then it may be used against you. If that’s the case, then you will need to speak up for yourself. Don’t be shy, let your partner know how hard you work, and what your worth is.

You don’t want to sweep the subject of money under the carpet, either. Often times, the job of making sure the bills are paid is put on the…

Read more: Learn Why Money Causes Problems In Your Relationship

A lifelong commitment doesn't have to be perfect. Learn how friendship can save a mariage.

When you think about a lifelong commitment, what do you think about?

Is it a perfect home, perfect family or a perfect job. Maybe, it’s all three. Or, do you think of happily waking up to the next one you love?

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, then you know this is not what a lifelong commitment is about. After being in a relationship for a while, you begin to let your guard down. Maybe, you don’t jump up and brush your teeth first thing in the morning. You start to put off the chores and indulge in a little more junk food.

So, what does this mean? A lifelong commitment is not perfect.

If you are expecting perfection in your relationship, then you are setting it up to fail. What about the friendship in your relationship? Just hanging out together having fun, and laughing together. So, before you make that plunge and jump into marriage, here are four things to think about:

  1. Is this your best friend? When I think of a best friend I think of someone that knows all of my secrets and still loves me. There is also mutual respect in the relationship. You know if you make a mistake you will be forgiven.This doesn’t mean that there isn’t room to grow, it just means you don’t have…

Read more: The Friendship In Your Marriage Is A Lifelong Commitment

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