Relationship Challenges

Relationship Challenges

"If you want to have a harmonious relationship you must learn to communicate and compromise." Milana May

Is it time to bring mystery back into the bedroom?

You may wondering how or when the spark left. It's easy in our fast paced society to put our relationship last. Think back to when you first started dating. You made time for one another and couldn't wait to see one another. Then, came marriage, a house, children and work. Which doesn't leave a lot of time for relationships.

America prides itself on efficiency, we are a goal oriented society. We are raised to believe we are what we make and that our bank account defines us. So, what does this mean, can we ever have enough? I hear this all the time in counseling. 'I wish I had a bigger house, a better car, more clothes or more in my savings account.' I tell my clients you can't always define success by your back account, and believe it or not this can affect what happens in the bedroom.

What this all means, is that we have been socialized to control our sexual urges and our appetite for sex. I know, many of you are thinking, we've rented videos, taken baths together, and have been committed to our weekly date but we still have a dull sex life.…

Read more: 3 Tips That Will Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship

Laughing With Your Partner (Really) Is The Best Medicine

Finding the right person can be difficult, but once it happens you've got to deal with the task of maintenance. This means keeping things fresh and finding time to spend with one another. This means prioritizing your relationship. When a couple enters a relationship, it's on the top of the list. This means having fun together. As time goes on, this changes. Work, the house and the children take priority. Having fun together is essential in a relationship. The two go together. If you aren't having fun together, then you are slowly killing your relationship. Here are ten tips to help you put fun back at the top of the list in your relationship:

 

 

  1. Put away all electronic gadgets. We have been conditioned to think we can't live without them, but we can. You really don't need to be plugged in all day or all night, for that matter.
  2. Talk to couples over 65 years old. Get relationship tips from other couples. See what you can take away for your relationship. Ask them how they have kept the love alive and how they have gotten through the difficult times?
  3. Stop and appreciate everything your relationship is right now. When you've been in a relationship for a while, it's easy to focus on the negative. Start focusing on the positive and tell your partner about…

Read more: Laughing With Your Partner (Really) Is The Best Medicine

Finding the right person can be difficult, but once it happens you've got to deal with the task of maintenance. This means keeping things fresh and finding time to spend with one another. This means prioritizing your relationship. When a couple enters a relationship, it's on the top of the list. This means having fun together. As time goes on, this changes. Work, the house and the children take priority. Having fun together is essential in a relationship. The two go together. If you aren't having fun together, then you are slowly killing your relationship. Here are ten tips to help you put fun back at the top of the list in your relationship:

  1. Put away all electronic gadgets. We have been conditioned to think we can't live without them, but we can. You really don't need to be plugged in all day or all night, for that matter.
  2. Talk to couples over 65 years old. Get relationship tips from other couples. See what you can take away for your relationship. Ask them how they have kept the love alive and how they have gotten through the difficult times?
  3. Stop and appreciate everything your relationship is right now. When you've been in a relationship for a while, it's easy to focus on the negative. Start focusing on the positive and tell your partner about it.
  4. Pitch in. Instead…

Read more: Laughing With Your Partner Really Is The Best Medicine

"A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times, but always with the same person." unknown

Many couples want to put the spark back in their marriage. They don't always talk about it or want to admit it, but they want it to be like it was in the beginning. Don't be scared to talk about it with your partner. The Gottman Institute has done a ton of research in working with couples, and we have found that talking about it is one of the best things you can do for your marriage.

In the beginning you worked very hard to win over your partner. Once you win over your partner, you still need to work hard. It's like a pop star getting their first hit song. If they want a second hit song, then they need to work even harder. Your relationship is the same way. We have found that couples that work hard at their relationship, stay together. The bottom line is a relationship is not magic, its work. Here are five researched tips that will have you fall back into love with your partner.

  1. Six-second kiss. You read that right. In our busy world most of the time we give our partner a peck. You need to stop and kiss on the lips for six seconds. It's not really that long and…

Read more: 5 Researched Tips That Will Help You FALL Back In Love

Rituals of Connection are core to a positive and happy relationship. They create shared meaning in the relationship. If you have shared meaning in the relationship, then there is a good chance the relationship is stable and happy. If you don't, then you might be asking yourself, 'Is that all there is?' Sure, date nights, weekend getaways and making love are all part of a relationship. But, people also want to connect at a deeper level. How is your spiritual connection? Do you feel you are creating an inner life together? This is a culture in the relationship, where symbols, rituals and an appreciation for your roles and goals, which also link you together. When you feel this connection, you will understand what if feels like to be part of the union you have joined.

One of the best ways to create shared meaning is to talk about your dreams with your partner. However, big or small they might be. You don't have to agreewith your partner's dreams but you need to be respectful and supportive of one another's dreams. Another way to create shared meaning is to create traditions and rituals. Start by talking about the traditions and rituals that you had growing up. Tell your partner you best and worst memories. How could you make them better? What are these rituals like for…

Read more: 21 Ways To Help Improve The Intimacy In Your Relationship

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

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