Relationship Challenges

Relationship Challenges

"Catch your partner doing something right." The Gottman Institute

I'm sure you are familiar with a savings account. You start a savings account by making a deposit. If you continue to make deposits, then your savings account grows. If you only make one deposit, then your savings account doesn't grow. Apply that concept to your relationship. This doesn't mean keep score, this means work towards building a positive perspective in your relationship. The Gottman Institute research suggests this is a great way to build a reasonably happy relationship. Here are ten helpful tips to help build your emotional bank account in your relationship:

  1. Sliding glass door moments. These are just a couple of minutes in a relationship and this is where trust is built and how it is kept. For example, you come home after a long day at work and your partner wants to talk to you about the children. You can simply say I am tired and walk away or you can stay and listen to your partner. This may not make a huge difference at the time but in the long run it will.
  2. Contribute regularly to your emotional bank account. The small things can make a big difference. Your partner will notice. And, contribute with a smile. Remember, it's not what you say it's how you say it.
  3. Complain don't blame. This means…

Read more: 10 Deposits That Will Help You Build The Friendship In Your Relationship

Three Things Every Couple Fights About, And How To Stop.

"The perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other." Kate Stewart 

Money, sex and the children. I have seen many couples in therapy over the 14 years I have worked as a Marriage & Family Therapist. I have found that many couples have problems on the surface and they need to address the problems underneath the surface. After being in a relationship it's easy to pick on your partner's faults and blame one another if the relationship is going south. 

Over the past four years I have been trained in and using The Gottman Method for Couples. This is a well researched method. The Gottman's have done over four decades of research in working with couples. They have developed a lot of great tools for couples to help with communication and building the friendship in the relationship. Which, by the way, the research has found that a good friendship is crucial in a relationship. This is reported by, both men and women.


One of my favorite tools that they have that helps with communication is Dreams within Conflict. This helps the couple have a guided conversation that helps build understanding in the relationship. One person is the speaker and one is the listener. The speaker is the dream speaker and the listener is the dream catcher. It's easy to want…

Read more: Three Things Every Couple Fights About, And How To Stop.

"The perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other." Kate Stewart

Money, sex and the children. I have seen many couples in therapy over the 14 years I have worked as a Marriage & Family Therapist. I have found that many couples have problems on the surface and they need to address the problems underneath the surface. After being in a relationship it's easy to pick on your partner's faults and blame one another if the relationship is going south.

Over the past four years I have been trained in and using The Gottman Method for Couples. This is a well-researched method. The Gottman's have done over four decades of research in working with couples. They have developed a lot of great tools for couples to help with communication and building the friendship in the relationship. Which, by the way, the research has found that a good friendship is crucial in a relationship. This is reported by, both men and women.

One of my favorite tools that they have that helps with communication is Dreams within Conflict. This helps the couple have a guided conversation that helps build understanding in the relationship. One person is the speaker and one is the listener. The speaker is the dream speaker and the listener is the dream catcher. It's easy to…

Read more: Three Things Every Couple Fights About And How To Stop

Tired Of Fighting Over The Same Thing? Here Is How To Stop.


According to The Gottman Institute, "Acknowledging and respecting each other's deepest, most personal hopes and dreams is the key to saving and enriching your marriage." This is based from their empirical research in studying couples. They have done over forty years of research with couples. If you are in a relationship, then you have probably noticed that the same problems come up over and over. 

The research suggests that the perpetual conflict in your relationship may symbolize the differences in your lifestyle and personality. Perpetual problems often come from, not feeling understood by your partner or well-known. It's easy in our fast paced world to forget about our dreams or shove them aside. It's even more frustrating when our partner doesn't even know what our dreams are. 

More than anything, we want to feel like our partner has our back and really gets us. If you don't feel this way, then you start to drift apart. If you feel like this, you are not alone. Many couples go through this after they have been together for a while.

The good news is you can use The Gottman's Institute research to help overcome the perpetual problems in your relationship. Here are seven helpful tips:

  1. Keep working on your unresolvable conflicts. Couples that are demanding of their relationships are more likely to have a happy and satisfying relationship,…

Read more: Tired Of Fighting Over The Same Thing? Here Is How To Stop.

According to The Gottman Institute, "Acknowledging and respecting each other's deepest, most personal hopes and dreams is the key to saving and enriching your marriage." This is based from their empirical research in studying couples. They have done over forty years of research with couples. If you are in a relationship, then you have probably noticed that the same problems come up over and over.

The research suggests that the perpetual conflict in your relationship may symbolize the differences in your lifestyle and personality. Perpetual problems often come from, not feeling understood by your partner or well-known. It's easy in our fast paced world to forget about our dreams or shove them aside. It's even more frustrating when our partner doesn't even know what our dreams are.

More than anything, we want to feel like our partner has our back and really gets us. If you don't feel this way, then you start to drift apart. If you feel like this, you are not alone. Many couples go through this after they have been together for a while.

The good news is you can use The Gottman's Institute research to help overcome the perpetual problems in your relationship. Here are seven helpful tips:

  1. Keep working on your unresolvable conflicts. Couples that are demanding of their relationships are more likely to have a happy and satisfying relationship,…

Read more: Tired Of Fighting Over The Same Thing? Here Is How To Stop

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