This is what happens during awkward moments on dates...




This week I am devoting LessonsforLove to singles. You don't need to be embarrassed or ashamed if you are single. There are a growing number of singles these days and sometimes it's for good reason. I do a lot of work with couples in my practice but I also work with singles. One question I get a lot is 'Where can I meet the right person?' Sure, there are nightclubs, work, church, or maybe meeting someone at a party. For some people this has worked, and for other's it hasn't. One thing I always tell people when dating is to be open. This is a time to meet new people. There is nothing wrong with online dating; a lot of people are trying it. I have several friends that have met their husband online. Here are five tips to help when dating online:

  1. Make sure you know what you are looking for. If you are looking for a long term relationship, then don't be scared to say it. It's important to be honest, that way no one gets hurt.
  2. Choose a website that has respect for you. There are many websites out there these days. Make sure you find one that is right for you. Do a little research about the website. Ask your friends and family for recommendations. 
  3. Post a recent photo and make sure to post a few of them. You want to look fresh. Your photo will be the first impression you are making on a potential partner. Have some photo's that show you doing things you enjoy. For example, if you enjoy hiking show a picture of the last hike you were on.
  4. Have a conversation online before meeting. Some websites can help you with this. If you choose one that doesn't, then make sure you have some questions you can ask to keep the conversation going. For example, what was your favorite vacation? Where do you see yourself in five years? What was the worst date you have been on?
  5. And, last but not least, use your common sense. When meeting for the first time, make sure to meet at a public place like a coffee shop or restaurant, which you both agree with. Don't give out information that you are not comfortable giving out. If you feel pressured it's alright to say so no. Basically, don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. This is a time where it's important to listen to that internal voice.
If you hadn't had any luck meeting someone at a club or at church, then it might be time to try online dating. Many of us have busy schedules, which doesn't leave time for meeting new people. We all want to be in a reasonably happy relationship. If you aren't in one that's alright, but it's time to try something new. Remember, nothing ventured nothing gained. 

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