no way to live


My single clients often ask me, 'will I ever find the one?' I tell them to focus on the process rather than the goal. What this means is, rather than focusing on how much you hate being single or making it a goal to find a life partner. Sit back and enjoy the process. Take this time to learn more about yourself and others. Here are three tips that will help you find love when you are single:

  1. Take a risk. Now is the time to try something new. If you don't put yourself out there, chances are you will never meet someone. Take a dance class, join a ski club, take a cooking class, and just try something new. Get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. I'm sure your married friends are great, but now is the time to join some new single groups.
  2. Don't assume everyone is a nincompoop. If you're single, then you have probably been hurt. You are not the only person that has been hurt or betrayed in a relationship. It's easy to tell yourself that you will never meet anyone, or that everyone out there that is single has something wrong with them. It's easy to get into the habit of telling yourself negative messages. I always tell my clients to stay away from negative people and from telling themselves negative messages. Start to believe that there are still some good single people out there. This will help change your tone and you will also come across as more sincere.
  3. Get over your ex. It's impossible to form a healthy relationship when you are still obsessed with your ex. You will compare everyone that you meet to your ex. This can definitely ruin your chances of finding love. If you ex is still calling you, then don't return their phone calls, text messages or emails. This will only keep you thinking of them and hanging on, hoping for a miracle. It could be a blessing in disguise that the relationship didn't work out.
If you still feel doomed when it comes to relationships after reading this article, then please call me at (650) 892-0357 for a consultation. I'm here to support you through this transition in your life and let you know that you are not alone. Life is full of ups-and-downs, but with the right support you will be able to get through this time in your life. 

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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