As I look at the man sitting across from me, Nathan. He says to me, "I can't believe I am 45 and single, again, I never thought this would happen to me." He asks me," how will I communicate with my ex, will I always feel lonely, and how will I handle dating?" He doesn't realize at this time, that he will get through this. Here are five tips to help you out, if you have recently gone through a divorce.
- Discover your strengths. Now is the time to start valuing yourself. This is the first step in being a little more independent and learning to have a voice for yourself. For example, have people always said you are a good cook, then now is the time to take a cooking class.
- Find peace within. It's alright to be single. Now is the time to hone in on your coping skills. Remember to breathe. Take a yoga or meditation class. This may be the time to work on your spiritual side. This will help you with anger-management and self-care.
- Set goals. Start with small goals. For example, clean out your closet, buy some new plants, start going to the gym. Think ahead, where will you be living next year or working? Start a savings account, plan a vacation with friends and start to spend time doing things that you love.
- Remove obstacles. I find most of the time my clients have set their own obstacles. This really does start in your mind. This is a time to create a new vision for yourself. Stop telling yourself no and just do it.
- Learn to love yourself. This is a time of self-discovery. It can't start unless you love and accept yourself for the person you are. Instead of starting the day by criticizing yourself start the day with a compliment. For example, you are confident, smart and attractive.