We've all been there. Maybe it was your idea to breakup, maybe it wasn't. It doesn't matter, right now you are feeling alone. You can't believe you are going through this, again. The first thing to remember is you aren't alone.
Taking care of yourself after a breakup is the best thing you can do right now.
This is something a lot of people don't like to talk about. You may be in the bargaining stage of the loss. Wondering where you went wrong, or why you didn't see it coming? This is something everyone goes through after a breakup.
Give yourself time to recover from the breakup. You may be feeling lonely. This may make you want to run into another relationship. This is called being on the rebound. You are searching for a partner based on feeling lonely. It's easy to make this mistake. Make sure you give yourself time to heal.
Here are 10 strategies for taking care of yourself after a breakup:
- Write it out. Keeping a journal can help reduce stress. This will help get your feelings out. Nobody has to see it, so you can say what you want. If you’d like you can pick a subject write about, or write a poem.
- Hug it out. If you are around a loved one, give them a hug or ask for a hug. Touch is good for you. We have gotten away from it in our culture. I love it when my seven year old nephew hugs me. It’s even better when he doesn’t want to let go.
- Do an art project. This will change your focus. All you need are some pencils and paper. Pick an object to sketch, or sketch your pet. You can also color. I love all of the coloring books that are out now for adults.
- Try mindfulness. This is a form of meditation. There are many apps. Out there for mindfulness. Download one and try it out. You can start with five minutes and eventually go up to thirty minutes. Mindfulness is about being in the present. You can’t go back and you can’t predict the future.
- Try some light yoga. With yoga you get the mind and body connection. This is a great way to reduce stress. Start with a few gentle poses. Simply rotating your neck can do wonders.
- Stop, and take a deep breathe. This can help reduce cortisol levels, which can help reduce stress and anxiety. If you can, close your eyes and try to clear your mind. Just focus on your breath. Pay attention to where it is in your body and follow it. This will help keep you in the present.
- Listen to music. Research has shown that listening to music can help reduce stress. Listen to music with positive lyrics that has a soothing sound. Try not to think about what is stressing you out while you are listening to music.
- Go for a walk. Get outside in the sunshine, if you can. The fresh air is good for your brain. Try and keep your mind off of what is stressing you out. Stop and look at a flower or a tree. Take time to notice the details.
- Spark some scents. Aromatherapy is a good way to reduce stress. If you have some of the oils, put a little behind your neck or underneath your nose. Then, take a few deep soothing breaths. You can also close your eyes. This will help block out distractions.
- Hang with your pet. Studies have shown that pets help reduce stress. Also known as, pet therapy. Your cat or dog loves to spend time with you. You can hang on the couch or play with your pet. Time with your pet, is time well spent.
Start with at least one of these today. Make sure to take time for yourself everyday. This is not selfish. This is taking care of yourself. Unfortunately, in our society you are led to believe taking care of yourself will lead to a life of being selfish. Research has found this isn't the case.
This is a list to help get you started. You can try other things. What's important is that you find ways to revive that work for you. Not only will this help in your personal life, it will help at work as well. The goal is: work, life, balance.
If you liked this article, there is more in Taking Care Of Yourself. You will find helpful tips, that will help create a healthier and happier life for yourself.
Lianne Avila is a Marriage & Family Therapist helping people in San Mateo, CA who are looking to create a life that is happier and more fulfilling. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on www.LessonsforLove.com to learn more about her services and expertise.