Taking Care Of Yourself

Taking Care Of Yourself

It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

Self care, I’m sure you’ve heard about it. People are talking it about it more and more. The reason people are talking about it, is because people are more stressed out than ever before. You want to get ahead, you want to be a great parent, etc.

But, there is a cost. And, the cost is you. You aren’t meant to go all day, and then all night. You need to slow down and take breaks. Once you start, you won’t be able to stop. When was the last time you did something for yourself, without guilt? Why do you feel guilty when you take care of yourself? What is your mindset like? Where did you learn it from?

It’s easy to stay stuck in and old mindset, that you learned as a child. What you may not realize is that you are hurting yourself, in the long run. I want you to take a look at your mindset, right now. Why is it, that you always put yourself last? Did you grow up in a home with a parent that put everyone else first? Were you constantly told to put others first? Whatever the reason, you need to start making some changes. If you don’t, you will suffer physically and emotionally.

Here are 10 ways to fall in love with taking care of yourself:

  1. Start…

Read more: How To Fall In Love With Taking Care Of Yourself

Learn how letting go will help you feel better about yourself.

You take care of everybody else. So, why aren’t your taking care of yourself? Do you feel it’s selfish? Or, you just don’t have the time. Whatever, the reason, taking care of yourself is a priority. If you don’t, you will grow angry and resentful.

Part of emotional self-care is staying in the present. It’s easy to focus on your regrets about the past, or constantly worry about the future. When, in reality you don’t have control over either. It also keeps you away from this present moment.

Not to say that it’s not alright to learn from the past, but you need to let go. You can plan ahead, but don’t have anxiety over it. This will help keep your mind open for change. Change is constant. When you are more accepting of it, you will have less stress.

Here are 10 ways to practice emotional self-care:

  1. Be true to yourself. This means, don’t say yes when you mean no. This is also known as setting boundaries. There will be a big payoff to this.
  2. Develop an attitude of gratitude. Write down 25 things you are grateful for. Start with a roof over your head, and a warm bed to sleep in.
  3. Allow yourself to make mistakes. No one is perfect. This is an unrealistic expectation. You will always feel disappointed. Make sure the people around…

Read more: What You Need To Know About Taking Care Of Yourself Emotionally

Believe it or not, emotionally strong people feel the same emotions that you do. So, what’s the difference? They learn how to cope with their emotions and move on. They have many of the same setbacks and challenges in life that you do.

They don’t view themselves as a victim in the situation. They know they have choices, and they know what choices they need to make. Believe me, I know. It’s probably been 20 or more years since I was that emotionally dependent person.

You can sit around and complain that life isn’t fair, or drown yourself in your sorrows. This will only keep you stuck, and it won’t change anything. The best lesson I got from going from emotionally dependent to being emotionally strong was: that as I change the people around me change. People actually started to treat me differently.

Here are 5 tips to help you become an emotionally strong person:

  1. Let go of control. Life is unpredictable. You can’t go back and you can’t predict the future. But, you are constantly worried about the future and filled with regrets about the past. You can’t do anything about them. This keeps you from enjoying and embracing the present. The next time you go for a walk and see a flower, I want you to stop and examine every part of it. Take a…

Read more: How To Go From Being Emotionally Dependent To Being Emotionally Strong

You need to believe that you deserve to be happy.

The key to happiness — as cliché as it sounds — can't be found in other people. Happiness begins and ends with you. So take some time to go out and create your own bliss. Happiness is right around the corner!

Here are 10 ways to be happy:

  1. Choose yourself. Even if it may upset others. This may mean setting better boundaries with friends — or even your boss. This may help you sleep better and feel better about yourself. It's easy to put ourselves last. Many things get in the way, like work or family. Start to put yourself first on the list.It really is true: we can't take care of anyone else unless we take care of ourselves.
  2. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself permission to slip up every once in a while. No one is perfect, we are human and we all make mistakes. This is giving yourself a pass, just like you would to a friend or family member. It's easy to give others a second chance but hard to do it for ourselves. Stop putting the expectation of being perfect on yourself.
  3. Allow yourself to dream BIG.Remember when you were a child and you had so many dreams? What happened to them? Don't focus on whether or not…

Read more: 10 Things That Will Make You Feel Happy

I’m sure, by now, you have heard of self care. So, the question is why aren’t you doing it? I know, you have a million things to do. You aren’t sure if you’ll ever get them done, but you are sure going to try. This could come with a cost. That cost, is you.

Nobody can do it all. But, you are lead to believe that you can. It’s alright to chip away at your to do list. Do a little today and then a little tomorrow, and so on. Make sure you listen to your body and take breaks when you need to.

Here are 10 signs you are not taking good care of yourself:

  1. You can’t remember the last time you treated yourself to anything.
  2. You are fatigued, and can’t seem to snap out of it.
  3. You rely on caffeine, painkillers, wine or some other substance to get you through the day.
  4. You are surprised at how easily frustrated you get. You are worried the wrong people are taking the hit.
  5. You get sick a lot.
  6. You find yourself snapping for no reason, and are easily frustrated in your relationship.
  7. Your friends and loved ones are pulling away from you.
  8. You dread going to work. You are starting to abandon projects or give them little attention.
  9. You’re on edge and worry all the time. You…

Read more: Are You Taking Good Care Of Yourself? Here's How To Easily Tell.

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

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(650) 892-0357

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