Taking Care Of Yourself

Taking Care Of Yourself


After spending time with family and friends, and at holiday festivities, you may find the holiday high is over. Maybe your bank account balance has fallen low after costly holiday gifts, and there is not another work holiday in sight. If you feel like this, you aren't alone. Many people experience a low in January after the holidays. 

At the beginning of The New Year, it's easy to look back at last year. This tends to be a time where we can beat ourselves up. 'I didn't get that promotion, I didn't move yet, or I haven't saved enough money.' This is a trap, you need to stay away from this kind of negative self talk. Now that the hectic holiday schedule is over, here are seven tips to keep the blues away as reality returns:

  1. Did your holiday schedule have you overbooked? Now is the time to get back on schedule. Go back to your support group, that helped make you feel better. Get back on a regular meal plan. Nutrition is important. Catch up on projects at work or get ahead at work, if things are slow. 
  2. Access the holiday financial damage. Did holiday shopping drain your bank account? If so, now is the time to start a savings plan and get back in control of your spending. Regaining a sense…

Read more: How To Kick Post-Holiday Depression

Everybody is talking about gratitude these days, and there is a reason why. I really does help make people feel better. It's easy to focus on what you don't have or don't like in life. I'm asking you to challenge your thinking and change your mindset.

Maybe you weren't expecting this but I'm going to talk about depression in this article. Depression affects many people. The Centers for Disease Control estimates that 19 million Americans suffer from it. At some point in their life, 10%-25% of women will become depressed and 5%-12% of men will become depressed. Depression isn't fun and it can be debilitating. Here are five signs that you are depressed:

  1. You laugh and cry at times that don't call for it. In psychology this is also known as "inappropriate affect." This is when you over-react to insignificant sadness, and ignore major league bad news. Laughing when you lose your job is a good example of this.
  2. You have trouble accepting praise or goodwill. Martin Seligman, the psychologist that changed our thinking about depression. He studied the behavior of dogs that were given electrical shock. Eventually the dogs would just lie there. They wouldn't even respond to tugs on their leashes that could lead them to safety. The human paradigm, when you find yourself ignoring or discounting compliments, chances are you're depressed.
  3. You feel nothing.…

Read more: How Gratitude Can Change Your Brain

Tired of the daily grind? Don't feel like you have enough time for yourself? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you are like many people in our fast-paced society. We are always pushed to do more. Your best isn't good enough. Well, I got news for you, your best is good enough. You need to start believing you are enough.

It's 6:30 in the morning and your alarm starts blaring. All you want to do is hit the snooze button, but the alarm won't go away. You get up and the day begins. Wake up the children, make sure they are ready for school. You also have to get yourself ready. Then, you're off to the office. There are a million questions. Is the brief ready, did you schedule the conference room, etc.? The next thing you know the day is over and you didn't squeeze one minute in for yourself.

As human beings, we aren't designed to go all day without a break. If you watch children they will play until they collapse, if they are allowed to. Usually, a parent will stop them before that happens. As adults, it's up to us to slow down. We no longer have a parent to help us with that. If you continue at this pace, it will start to come out physically…

Read more: 7 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself Everyday

"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." Rum

It's no secret - managing all the things you have to do as an adult is a challenge. I hear this all the time in my practice, 'I wish I had more balance in my life.' It's easy to put yourself last on the list when you have a spouse, children, work and a house. But, like a car you need to fuel up, now and then, or you will run out of gas. Here are some tips to help get your life back in order.

  1. Plan - I always ask my clients if they have a planner and are they using it? Most of the time they have one but aren't always using it. Start your week by looking at your planner. Schedule work commitments, physical activity, personal and family time. Remember to leave time for yourself. Then, look at your planner daily and make any changes that need to be made.
  2. Prioritize - This means deciding what is most important, and then doing what is most important for achieving balance. What needs to be done first? With who or whom do I need to spend my time with? What are the consequences of not doing an activity?
  3. Organize- This means bringing more structure to your time and space. We can waste a lot…

Read more: Six Helpful Tips That Will Bring Balance To Your Life

"Love is the miracle cure. Loving myself works miracles in my life." Louise Hay

Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may be true but we learn self-love by being loved, especially in the places where we feel most unsure and most vulnerable. If you show vulnerability in a relationship and it is met with disinterest or criticism, something inside of us starts to shrivel and we may think twice about ever sharing that part again. This actually starts in childhood.

Having said that, when you love yourself you are better able to receive love. It's easy to pick the parts you don't like about yourself. I hear it all the time in my practice. If I were to ask my clients three things they hate about themselves, the question would be easy to answer. But, when I ask them to tell me three things they love about themselves, they often sit there in silence. I tell them, three is a small number, there are many more great things about themselves.

Why do people in our society struggle so much with loving themselves? We are human, we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. The psychological rewards will amaze you. You will have better health and better…

Read more: 10 Steps To Help You Go Easy On Yourself

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

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