Taking Care Of Yourself

Taking Care Of Yourself

Don't Stop Believin': 10 Ways To Show Love To Yourself Today

"Love is the miracle cure. Loving myself works miracles in my life." Louise Hay

Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may be true but we learn self-love by being loved, especially in the places where we feel most unsure and most vulnerable. If you show vulnerability in a relationship and it is met with disinterest or criticism, something inside of us starts to shrivel and we may think twice about ever sharing that part again. This actually starts in childhood.
Having said that, when you love yourself you are better able to receive love. It's easy to pick the parts you don't like about yourself. I hear it all the time in my practice. If I were to ask my clients three things they hate about themselves, the question would be easy to answer. But, when I ask them to tell me three things they love about themselves, they often sit there in silence. I tell them, three is a small number, there are many more great things about themselves. 
Why do people in our society struggle so much with loving themselves? We are human, we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. The psychological rewards will amaze you. You will have better health and…

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Women: Stop Telling Yourself Lies.

"Make sure your worst enemy doesn't live between your own two ears." Laird Hamilton

We have been brought up to believe we can have it all and we can do it all. Really, it doesn't take long to figure out this is a lie. We are working harder than we have ever worked. We are working both in the home and outside of the home. Many of us are left feeling that we are barely keeping up. I say, "who are we trying to keep up with, anyway, The Kardashians?" Hollywood has left us believing that not only can we have it all but we must look absolutely perfect, as well. I have many women friends and many women clients; and I have never come across one that doesn't want to change something about the way they look. 'I'm to fat, my nose is too big, I don't make enough money or I'm just not pretty enough.' I hear this from women of all ages and ethnicity's. I have come to the conclusion women tend to be way harder on themselves than they are others and they need to change their internal dialogue. Here are five lies women are telling themselves:

  1. All or nothing thinking. This is one I hear a lot. "I've got to do a perfect job." Nobody is perfect, stop telling…

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10 Distractions For Singles

Feeling fried or less fabulous. Does being single have you down? No worries, nearly half the population is single, so, this means you aren't alone. Two words: distract yourself. Research shows that letting your mind wander increases creativity, reduces stress, and can even reduce pain. With that in mind, here are 10 fun distractions which will help you enjoy being single:

  1. Listening to positive and soothing music. Make up a new top ten iTunes playlist.
  2. Get out of the house. Go to the coffee shop to read the newspaper or go to the mall and people watch. Do not stay home all day and watch T.V.
  3. Go to the dog park. Even if you don't have a dog it's a great way to get out and possibly meet new people. Dogs love to play and this is good for your inner child.
  4. Take pictures and make new photo albums on Facebook. Make sure to tag all your friends that are in them.
  5. Cut out positive pictures from magazines and positive quotes. Place them on your refrigerator or somewhere, where you will see them.
  6. Call a friend you haven't seen in a while. I'm sure they'd love to hear from you.
  7. Take an art class. Let out your creative side, invite a friend to go with you.
  8. Play Words With Friends on your iPad or…

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10 Distractions To Help Get You Through The Season

Summer is over and fall is here. This means change is near or has already started. For some, it may have never stopped. With busy work schedules and children is school, you may never feel like you have any time for yourself. Next, the holiday season will be here, and we will all be wondering where the year went. Here are ten distractions to help you have fun during fall:

  1. Go outside and watch the birds and other animals. Nature is a great escape and a good way to clear your mind. Leave all gadgets behind and just enjoy being outside.
  2. Sign up for a class that excites you at a local college, adult school or online. Make sure it is something fun that will help you keep your mind off of work and family.
  3. Make a list of ten things you're good at or that you like about yourself when you're feeling good, and keep it with you to read when you're feeling upset. This will help you focus on the positive rather than the negative.
  4. Take photographs. Take pictures of the outdoors, a pretty sunset, friends and family. Keep them stored on your phone or computer and look at them when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
  5. Read your favorite book, magazine, paper or poem. Reading is good for the brain.
  6. Write a…

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5 Signs Your Depressed But Don't Know It

Depression affects many people. The Centers for Disease Control estimates that 19 million Americans suffer from it. At some point in their life, 10%-25% of women will become depressed and 5%-12% of men will become depressed. Depression isn't fun and it can be debilitating. Here are five signs that you are depressed:

  1. You laugh and cry at times that don't call for it. In psychology this is also know as "inappropriate affect." This is when you over-react to insignificant sadness, and ignore major league bad news. Laughing when you lose your job is a good example of this.
  2. You have trouble accepting praise or goodwill. Martin Seligman, the psychologist that changed our thinking about depression. He studied the behavior of dogs that were give electrical shock. Eventually the dogs would just lie there. They wouldn't even respond to tugs on their leashes that could lead them to safety. The human paradigm, when you find yourself ignoring or discounting compliments, chances are your depressed.
  3. You feel nothing. Many people choose to ignore that they feel sad. It's easy to get stuck in neutral when you ignore your feelings. This can create a zombie-like approach, which creates anxiety in those around you and alienates those that care for you.
  4. Conflicts quickly escalate into fights. This is an easy way to dull the feelings of depression. You…

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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