As I look at the man sitting across from me, Nathan. He says to me, "I can't believe I am 45 and single, again, I never thought this would happen to me." He asks me," how will I communicate with my ex, will I always feel lonely, and how will I handle dating?" He doesn't realize at this time, that he will get through this. Here are five tips to help you out, if you have recently gone through a divorce.
In today's world we all work too much or are taking care of others. This doesn't leave much time for ourselves. In today's busy world we often forget about ourselves. Some of us have been taught that it is selfish to put ourselves first or that we shouldn't think of ourselves. I'm here to tell you that is bologna. I see people all the time in my practice that have forgotten about themselves and are putting everyone else in their life first. The result, is burnout and fatigue. If this isn't taken care of it could lead to something more serious, depression or anxiety. Here are some tips to help you take time for yourself and self-soothe:
As most of you know I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and I have completed Levels 1, 2 & 3 in Gottman Couples Training. Gottman, of course, is the expert on relationships and is backed with 40 years of research. I absolutely love this method. After trying many different methods in working with couples, I have found this to be practical and effective. A lot of people ask me if I see other clients in my practice, and my response is yes. I also work with individuals, whether they are dealing with depression, anxiety or the loss of a relationship. I have found that people tend to repeat the same patterns in life and often don't understand why. Maybe, they have a low self-esteem, fear being alone or had a difficult childhood. Maybe, they feel they have always been the underdog and can never get a break in life.
Are the root of their problems that they fear rejection, have to be right or they just can't relax? The reality is, it could be all three of these reasons. People have many reasons for acting the way they do. I have found that it is best to go easy on yourself. Yes, it's alright to think of yourself and how to simplify your life. After counseling people for 13 years, I have found…
Three steps to help you redefine your world when "Plan A" fails.
"It's nothing personal," he says "it's really not you it's me I just need some time to figure things out." "This is not the first time I have heard this," said my client.
One of the great things about being single is the independence that comes with it. Take this time to make your own decisions and learn not to rely on others for approval.
I know some people think there is nothing worse than being single. Where does this come from, many clients have asked me. And, I often ask them to answer their own question. When did they start feeling this way and where did it come from? We are starting to see a change in our society it has been reported that 49% of the United States is single. We see single people living a carefree life in many commercials with a nice car and nice clothes. But, after working as a Marriage and Family Therapist I find this really isn't always the case.
Many of the single people I work with complain being single is not all it's cracked up to be and wonder if they would ever find the love of their life and live happily ever after. There can be a lot said for singledom, after all, it is a right of passage. This is a time to…