Lessons For Love Relationship Advice Blog

Why Should I Take Care Of Myself? How many of you even know what self care is? Learn how taking care of yourself will make you and your family happy.

I’m sure by now you’ve heard of self care. This is something a lot of people are talking about these days. But, not a lot of people are practicing it. So, why not? I ask a lot of my clients what their self care plan looks like. And, the number one answer I get is, ‘What is that?’

Then they Google, Why Should I Take Care Of Myself?

Honestly, I think that is kind of sad. People are too busy working or taking care of others, to even think about taking care of themselves. This may come from a very old belief, that taking care of yourself is selfish. Believe it or not, when people Google self care they ask what it is rather than how to do it?

Many things play a part. Your gender, race and socioeconomic status. Believe it or not, some believe you must be rich to practice self care. That is total nonsense. There is no truth to it. Don’t believe the lie that self care isn’t for you. If you don’t have a self care plan, then you need to start one today.

It can be simple. Instead of rushing through your shower, slow down a little. Wash your hair with some nice shampoo, and take your time. Massage your scalp. Instead of being on your phone until the…

Read more: Why Should I Take Care Of Myself? Here Are The Top 20 Reasons.

When you have a child it is a lifelong commitment. Learn how taking care of yourself will make it more joyful.

When you make the decision to have a child, it is a lifelong commitment.

Of course, there are different stages. As an infant, your child is 100% dependent on you. The child see’s the parent as their whole world.

Of course, this will change. They will become more independent, but they will still need you. What’s important is that your child knows that you love them, no matter what. This means they need your time. This is the best gift you can give them.

It’s easy to get caught up in all of your other responsibilities, but they will always be there. Your child will grow up fast, so, spend as much time with your child as possible. This doesn’t mean you have to give up yourself in the process, but it does mean that your priorities will change.

Here are 8 benefits, for you and your child when you make it a lifelong commitment:

 

  1. You will always feel emotionally connected to your child. This is an important one. This is not only good for you, it is good for your child. You want your child to feel safe telling you anything. You do this by loving your child and accepting your child for who they are.
  2. Your child will always need you. In the beginning, this one is obvious.But, after a while your child…

Read more: Why Raising A Child Is A Lifelong Commitment?

Dating isn't always easy. Learn how you can tell if he's the one, that you can give your heart to.

You’ve been hurt in the past. This makes it hard to trust yourself. You really like this guy. You can feel it in your gut.

But, what if he’s the one? Or, just another guy that hurts you?

It’s easy to feel this way when you’ve been hurt in the past. It’s actually a good thing that you are questioning the relationship. This means you take it seriously. Try not to overthink it, that never ends good.

The first thing you need to do when you are dating someone is to ask yourself, ‘what are you looking for in a relationship?’ Meaning, do you want a long term relationship with a committed partner? If you answered yes, then continue reading.

This is one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life. Do you want to stay with this guy? Is he the one you want to commit to? If you are in it for the long term, then you want to know that he feels the same.

Here are 11 ways to know, if he's the one?:

 

  1. He’s seen you at your worst, and hasn’t left. He stuck with you when you got fired from your job, and your roommate suddenly moved out. You really had a break down at that time. But, that didn’t scare him away. He was there for you.…

Read more: How Do You Know, If He's The One That Really Loves You?

Learn what the negative sentiment override is, and how to get out of it.

You heard it right. If you don’t know what the negative sentiment override is, then let me tell you.

The Gottmans have done over four decades of research with couples. They found that couples either have the positive sentiment override, or the negative sentiment override.

When you are stuck in the negative sentiment override, 50% of the time you don’t notice the positive in the relationship. Meaning, even when things are going well the relationship is ridden with the negative sentiment override.

When the relationship is in the positive sentiment override. You know when your husband tells you he’ll be home for dinner he is. Or, if he calls and tells you he’s stuck in traffic you know he is. You aren’t constantly doubting the relationship or thinking negatively of your partner. You also have positive things to say about your partner to your friends and family.

Answer true or false to the following questions to find out if you are stuck in the negative sentiment override:

 

  1. I felt hurt.
  2. I felt misunderstood.
  3. I thought, "I don't have to take this."
  4. I felt innocent of blame for this problem.
  5. I thought to myself, "Just get up and leave."
  6. I was angry.
  7. I felt disappointed.
  8. I felt unjustly accused.
  9. I thought, "My partner has no right to say those things."
  10. I was frustrated.
  11. I…

Read more: Are You Stuck In The Negative Sentiment Override In Your Relationship?

We all know money causes relationship problems. Learn how to manage these problems

Men and women have been arguing about money since the beginning of time. Maybe, you make a lot of money, maybe you don’t. Whether you do or not, you still have your differences about money. Is your partner more of a saver? Are you more of a spender? You can have your differences about money and still have a happy marriage.

What you first need to do is take a close look at why money causes relationship problems.

Do you avoid talking about these issues? Do you hide the credit card bill? Do you tell your child not to tell dad what you bought? If you said yes to any of these questions, then there are problems with money in your relationship.

A nurturing and supportive relationship requires honesty and understanding. Your beliefs about money go way back. You learned them from your family of origin. How did your parents communicate about money? Did they argue a lot about money? Did you feel the playing ground was equal, or did one person make all the decisions about spending. Maybe, you grew up in an environment that was chaotic, and decisions were made impulsively about spending.

The first step is sitting down with your partner and having a conversations about where your beliefs came from about money. You need to be gentle in the conversation. Don’t start…

Read more: Learn Why Money Causes Relationship Problems & What To Do About It

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