Lessons For Love Relationship Advice Blog

The emotional bank account paradigm. What does that mean? And, what is your balance?

I'm sure you know how a bank account works. When you make deposits the bank account will grow. When you make withdrawals the bank account doesn't grow. It can also become overdrawn and become at risk of closing. 

Learn how to use the emotional bank account paradigm in your relationship.

The Gottman Institute for Couples found that the best way to make your emotional bank account grow, is to have lots of small deposits over a long period of time. This means if you make one large deposit now and then, it won't help your emotional bank account. It could even hurt your emotional bank account. This means you need lots of meaningful deposits over a long period of time.

Here are 11 small tips that will help you build the emotional bank account paradigm in your relationship:

  1. Say thank you often. This is one of those small deposits that will help build your emotional bank account. Try to be specific. For example, thank your husband when he listened to you vent about your day at the office.

  2. Say I appreciate often. This is another small deposit in your emotional bank account. Let your husband know that you appreciate how hard he works for the family, or, that he picked up dinner on the way home from the office.

  3. Complain don't blame. This means don't criticize one another. Learn…

Read more: Why You May Want To Consider Using The Emotional Bank Account Paradigm In Your Relationship

What if he's not the one? Learn how you can tell.

This is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. It's actually good thing to question it. 

What If He's Not The One?

This is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. You want to get this right, even with the best of efforts it can go wrong.


You are attracted to what you are used to. This can be a good or a bad thing. 

In the beginning everything is new and fresh. A new face, new voice, new body and of course new sexual energy. The mystery is there. You are excited to see your partner. You wonder what he will wear. Although, this is a fun and exciting stage this is where many people make mistakes. It's easy to fall in love with love, rather than in love with the person.

You may fall in love with someone that makes you feel safe. You may fall in love with someone that is emotionally distant. This is because there is something in your past that is familiar. This is where you need to be careful. If your father wasn't available emotionally, you may be attracted to this man for all the wrong reasons. You may also feel lonely, and are just trying to fill a void.

The sex is amazing, this can…

Read more: What To Do If You're Thinking, "What If He's Not The One?"

Learn how raising a happy and healthy child can be fun.

After having counseled children and families for nearly 20 years. I have found there is one thing that all parents have in common: they want to raise a happy and healthy child.

So, what will make your child happy and healthy? If you watch T.V., then it would be materialistic stuff. But, what I have found is what children really want is your time. As they get older and look back on life, they will remember the time they spent with you the most.

What stops you from spending time with your children? Work, your cell phone, drama with friends and family? I'm sure there is more. This means that you need to prioritize your family. Yes, you need to put family time on the calendar.

Start by asking your child, how there day was? If they give the standard answer of, 'Good.' Then, get specific. Ask what was good about it? Ask what was bad about it? Ask what games they played at recess? Come up with some questions that you know they can answer. Now, you are off to a good start.

Here are 6 tips for raising a happy and healthy child:

  1. Touch your child. As a society, we are getting away from touch. This is how we connect as human beings. Hold your child. Don't buy into letting them cry it…

Read more: 6 Tips For Raising A Happy and Healthy Child

Taking care of yourself after a breakup is the best thing you can do for yourself.

We've all been there. Maybe it was your idea to breakup, maybe it wasn't. It doesn't matter, right now you are feeling alone. You can't believe you are going through this, again. The first thing to remember is you aren't alone. 

Taking care of yourself after a breakup is the best thing you can do right now.

This is something a lot of people don't like to talk about. You may be in the bargaining stage of the loss. Wondering where you went wrong, or why you didn't see it coming? This is something everyone goes through after a breakup

Give yourself time to recover from the breakup. You may be feeling lonely. This may make you want to run into another relationship. This is called being on the rebound. You are searching for a partner based on feeling lonely. It's easy to make this mistake. Make sure you give yourself time to heal.

Here are 10 strategies for taking care of yourself after a breakup:

  • Write it out. Keeping a journal can help reduce stress. This will help get your feelings out. Nobody has to see it, so you can say what you want. If you’d like you can pick a subject write about, or write a poem.

  • Hug it out. If you are around a loved one, give them a hug or ask for a…

Read more: 10 Strategies For Taking Care Of Yourself After A Breakup

Learn why reducing stress is important. Not only will this help you, but it will help your relationship.

More and more people are reporting feeling stressed out. It's important that you keep your stress level down. If you don't it will lead to burn out. This is when you don't enjoy the life that you have, and you feel overwhelmed. It can also feel like things keep getting worse.

You want to start by appreciating the small things. Like a roof over your head and food on the table. It may sound obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the rat race and forget what is truly important. 

In this article you will learn why reducing stress is important for your relationship.

You may be thinking you have so much on your plate, how is it even possible? If you feel this way, you aren't alone. Start with the small stuff. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress. You can add a few more steps into your day by parking further away from the office building that you work at, or when you go to the grocery store. Small steps lead to big steps. Get up 10 minutes early and do some yoga. Take the dog for a walk, or play outside with your children.

Reducing stress isn't only good for your emotional and physical health, it is also good for your relationship.

Here are 8 reasons why reducing stress is…

Read more: 8 Reasons Why Reducing Stress Is Important For Your Relationship

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