As most of you know I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and I have completed Levels 1, 2 & 3 in Gottman Couples Training. Gottman, of course, is the expert on relationships and is backed with 40 years of research. I absolutely love this method. After trying many different methods in working with couples, I have found this to be practical and effective. A lot of people ask me if I see other clients in my practice, and my response is yes. I also work with individuals, whether they are dealing with depression, anxiety or the loss of a relationship. I have found that people tend to repeat the same patterns in life and often don't understand why. Maybe, they have a low self-esteem, fear being alone or had a difficult childhood. Maybe, they feel they have always been the underdog and can never get a break in life.
Are the root of their problems that they fear rejection, have to be right or they just can't relax? The reality is, it could be all three of these reasons. People have many reasons for acting the way they do. I have found that it is best to go easy on yourself. Yes, it's alright to think of yourself and how to simplify your life. After counseling people for 13 years, I have found…
Take The Bids For Connection Quiz
In Dr. John Gottman's apartment lab at the University of Washington, he studies how people interact with one another under everyday circumstances. He has discovered that "bids for connection" happen at a very high rate between partners. For example, happy couples "bid" 100 times in ten minutes. What makes the bids so important? How those bids are made and responded to influences how well that relationship is going to fare over time.
Three steps to help you redefine your world when "Plan A" fails.
As a Marriage & Family Therapist, a lot of people ask me if they should give their partner a second chance? They say they will change, but I'm just not sure, should I give them another chance? People also ask me, why do people go back only to get their heart broken, again and again. As human beings we are born desiring the closeness of another. If a baby is left alone they will eventually die. It's natural to desire a relationship to not want to be alone. This is why I say hang on to your dreams, just make sure the person you are with loves and respects you for who you are.
Here are three questions to ask yourself - Should I Stay or Should I Go?
How to Break Out of a Bad Mood:
Believe it or not, how you feel can affect how your partner feels. When you wake up in the morning are you excited for the day, or are you thinking here we go again? When you come home at the end of the day do you know your partner is excited to see you, or do they ignore you? While you are away from your partner do you know they are thinking fondly of you, or do you wonder if they are thinking negatively about you? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then this is the article for you.
Here are 10 cognitive distortions that could be causing your partner to turn away from you: