Remember when having children was just a dream. How did you imagine parenting would be? It’s easy to get caught up in the fairytale. Not only did you dream your children would play together and get along great, they will also get along great with their parents and everyone else.
By now, I’m sure you realize this isn’t true. Not only is it not true for you, it’s not true for anyone else. All families have their shares of highs and lows. And, not all of our dreams turn out the way we imagined.
Maybe, you’re still in a tiny house or apartment. Then comes the unexpected expenses, you didn’t realize your medical insurance had such a high deductible or the car breaks down. Your parents suddenly pass away or you are forced to move to an area you don’t like. Whatever the reason, life doesn’t always turn out the way we thought it should.
The reason kids don’t get a long can vary. Maybe, they are two entirely different kids. One likes to be with their friends all the time, and the other is happy at home watching T.V. Whatever the case is, it’s alright to be different from one another. Your kids may also be different from you. When you were their age, you may have loved to read and write. Now…
In the beginning love is bliss. You can’t wait to see each other. You have so much in common and the sparks are flying. As time goes on, things change. You buy a house, have children and get promoted at your job. This is all great, but what happens to your relationship?
We start to put all these other things first and our relationship last. Not only is this hard on intimacy, it’s hard on the friendship. The Gottman’s have been studying relationships for over four decades. What they’ve found, is what keeps the sparks flying is a strong friendship. This is true for both men and women.
We’ve put together a list of questions that will help deepen your relationship and add meaning to it. Make sure to schedule some time with your partner each day to ask some of these questions.
Here are 21 questions to help keep the sparks flying.
Are you tired of feeling stressed out? It seems like there is always something, especially living in the Bay Area. It starts with getting the kids ready in the morning, and then traffic on the freeway. Next thing you know, you are at work. The day is filled with meeting, reports, phone calls, etc. Before you know it the day is over. Where did the time go?
Then, you are left feeling like time is passing you by and that you are missing out. If you feel this way, you aren’t alone. More and more people are reporting an increase in stress. It’s actually nothing new. The good news is, you can take back your life.
Here are 7 tips to help you let go of stress:
Are you tired of feeling tired? Do you feel like you take care of everyone else? Then, this is the article for you. As a parent you have a responsibility to take care of your children. But, this doesn't mean you have to lose yourself in the process. I have seen many wonderful children and families in my practice. I tell almost all of my parents, that they can't forget to take care of themselves.
It's easy to overbook yourself and you child. If this goes on for too long, you will start to experience burnout which can lead to resentment. Maybe, you didn't grow up in a family that valued taking care of yourself, or you just never learned how. If that's the case, that's alright, it's never too late to learn. I think all parents want their children to be happy. This actually starts with you. Children learn by what they see. When they see happy parents, they will experience happy feelings. You are also starting happy and positive habits for your child.
Here are 15 self-care tips for parents.
It's no secret, that when your kids are happy you are happy. I hear this in therapy all the time, 'I just want my kids to be happy.' Your kids can be happy, but you can't expect them to be happy all the time. As human beings we have a variety of feelings: anger, sadness and happiness to name a few. One of the first steps is letting your kids know they don't have to be happy all the time, and give them permission to express other emotions.
Children learn by example. If you only show happiness to your child then they will think they need to be happy all the time. It's alright to express other feelings to your children or around your children. A lot of mother's out there will say things like, 'Your father will not hear about this, we don't want to upset him.' What message are you sending your child when you say that? The message is that dad must be happy all the time, that is a lot of pressure for everyone. When dad comes home fill him in on the day, whether it's good or bad.
Here are five tips that will make you a better listener with you kids: