Lessons For Love Relationship Advice Blog

Learn how simple it can be to take care of yourself before others.

Have you ever said yes, when you mean no? Of course you have. This means you are human. We have all been there. You really want to go home and relax after a long day. But, at the last minute your boss asks you if you have completed that assignment. You know you haven't, and now you have to.

This doesn't mean you are a slacker or incompetent. The reason you may have fallen behind is because you aren't prioritizing. And, by prioritizing I mean prioritizing yourself.

When you take care of yourself before others, you are actually more efficient.

Sure, it would be great to save the world. But, you don't want to kill yourself in the process. I see this all the time in my office. People get caught up in the comparison game. They think by doing more, they will be better and get ahead. That is not always the case. You may end up tired and feeling depleted. This is also known as feeling burnt out.

You know, when you start to feel resentful towards your friends and family because of their achievements. If you are feeling this way. You aren't alone. More and more Americans are suffering from burn out. This can lead to depression or anxiety. If this goes untreated, you may need to go on a long mental health…

Read more: What It Really Means To Take Care Of Yourself Before Others

Reducing stress with Meditation, is one of the best ways to reduce stress.

Do you feel like your mind is always going? Are you always a few steps ahead? If you answered yes, then you are stressed out. It's easy to feel like you can't do something about this. I have worked with a lot of people over the years that suffer from anxiety. But, you actually can reduce the stress in your life. You have more control than you think.

Reducing stress with meditation, will provide relief.

You are not a machine. You can't go and go. If you don't slow down, your body and mind will eventually shut down. Then, you will suffer physical symptoms like headaches and stomach aches. You will also feel anxious or even depressed. 

Here are 7 reasons why you should consider reducing stress with meditation:

  1. It can help prevent information overloadI think by now you have experienced this. Your mindi is on overload. You have packed way too much into your schedule, and it may be hard to keep things straight. This can affect how effective you are. When your brain is on overload you are more likely to make mistakes.

  2. It can help create space for what is important to you.  You may be doing a lot, but not really feel like you are getting much done. This happens when you don’t stop. You need to prioritize what is important to…

Read more: Why You Should Consider Reducing Stress With Meditation

The emotional bank account paradigm. What does that mean? And, what is your balance?

I'm sure you know how a bank account works. When you make deposits the bank account will grow. When you make withdrawals the bank account doesn't grow. It can also become overdrawn and become at risk of closing. 

Learn how to use the emotional bank account paradigm in your relationship.

The Gottman Institute for Couples found that the best way to make your emotional bank account grow, is to have lots of small deposits over a long period of time. This means if you make one large deposit now and then, it won't help your emotional bank account. It could even hurt your emotional bank account. This means you need lots of meaningful deposits over a long period of time.

Here are 11 small tips that will help you build the emotional bank account paradigm in your relationship:

  1. Say thank you often. This is one of those small deposits that will help build your emotional bank account. Try to be specific. For example, thank your husband when he listened to you vent about your day at the office.

  2. Say I appreciate often. This is another small deposit in your emotional bank account. Let your husband know that you appreciate how hard he works for the family, or, that he picked up dinner on the way home from the office.

  3. Complain don't blame. This means don't criticize one another. Learn…

Read more: Why You May Want To Consider Using The Emotional Bank Account Paradigm In Your Relationship

What if he's not the one? Learn how you can tell.

This is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. It's actually good thing to question it. 

What If He's Not The One?

This is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. You want to get this right, even with the best of efforts it can go wrong.

Attraction:

You are attracted to what you are used to. This can be a good or a bad thing. 

In the beginning everything is new and fresh. A new face, new voice, new body and of course new sexual energy. The mystery is there. You are excited to see your partner. You wonder what he will wear. Although, this is a fun and exciting stage this is where many people make mistakes. It's easy to fall in love with love, rather than in love with the person.

You may fall in love with someone that makes you feel safe. You may fall in love with someone that is emotionally distant. This is because there is something in your past that is familiar. This is where you need to be careful. If your father wasn't available emotionally, you may be attracted to this man for all the wrong reasons. You may also feel lonely, and are just trying to fill a void.

The sex is amazing, this can…

Read more: What To Do If You're Thinking, "What If He's Not The One?"

Learn how raising a happy and healthy child can be fun.

After having counseled children and families for nearly 20 years. I have found there is one thing that all parents have in common: they want to raise a happy and healthy child.

So, what will make your child happy and healthy? If you watch T.V., then it would be materialistic stuff. But, what I have found is what children really want is your time. As they get older and look back on life, they will remember the time they spent with you the most.

What stops you from spending time with your children? Work, your cell phone, drama with friends and family? I'm sure there is more. This means that you need to prioritize your family. Yes, you need to put family time on the calendar.

Start by asking your child, how there day was? If they give the standard answer of, 'Good.' Then, get specific. Ask what was good about it? Ask what was bad about it? Ask what games they played at recess? Come up with some questions that you know they can answer. Now, you are off to a good start.

Here are 6 tips for raising a happy and healthy child:

  1. Touch your child. As a society, we are getting away from touch. This is how we connect as human beings. Hold your child. Don't buy into letting them cry it…

Read more: 6 Tips For Raising A Happy and Healthy Child

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1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
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San Mateo, CA 94404

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