QS Bathroom Supplies recently studied trust in a relationship. The results were amazing. Couples had more off-limits items and banned chores in the home, than one would think.
The study was called, Don’t Touch My Stuff. The number one item that couples had off-limits were their smartphone. The number one reason the smartphone was off-limits, was because they didn’t want their partner using it.
Items two and three, were computers and cash. They found most of the couples studied felt this way at the beginning. But, if they didn’t loosen up it was because their partner lost it or damaged it.
Top chores that men had off-limits for women were: taking out the trash, washing the car and cooling meals. The top chores that women had off-limits for men were: doing laundry, doing dishes and cooking meals.
The Top three reasons these chores were off-limits were: they’ve messed up that chore, they don’t do that chore the way “I” prefer, and they’re incapable of doing the chore the “right way.”
This was also an indication of how much they trusted their partner in the relationship. Turns out when there is a banned chore, there is a decrease of trust in the relationship. Trust directly affects the friendship and intimacy in the relationship, as well.
They did also find that the longer a couple stayed together, meaning ten or more years. The less off-limits items and banned chores in the home they had.
Build trust in your relationship, and increase the friendship and intimacy.
Friendship is the glue that holds your relationship together. This will help you get through the difficult times. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, then you know there are many highs and lows.
7 Tips On How To Build Trust In Your Relationship:
- Don’t take your partner for granted. Consistency will pay off in the end. You tend to trust those that are consistent. This means being there through the good and the bad times. I know when you get home from work you may feel tired, but your wife really needs you to listen. She has had a rough day with the kids and needs your support. This may seem like a small moment, but if you stay and listen it will pay off in a big way down the road.
- Remember, you’re a team. This means that you need to take a genuine interest in your partner. You need to work on compromise together. When you don’t compromise you create the, “I win we/we lose.” Nobody likes that feeling. Your relationship isn’t a competition. Work together on your team skills and create the we/we win. This will help improve the friendship and the intimacy.
- Don’t hide in your relationship. You shouldn’t be with somebody that you can’t be yourself with. Your partner needs to love all parts of you. We all have good and bad in us. This will eventually come out. This means you need to be open about sharing your emotions. When you don’t share you emotions you tend to stay stuck.
- Remind yourself that trust is something you earn, and it takes time. Trust is a daily commitment. It’s really the small things that build trust. This means saying thank you and telling your partner what you appreciate. For example, let your partner know that you appreciated him/her taking time to help with the dishes. You know that work has been a little extra stressful these days. Lots of small things over a long period of time will build and keep trust in a relationship.
- Take a risk together. This means be vulnerable. I know this may feel scary. But, this will help build trust in the relationship. This also means making a change together. As humans, it’s easy to become comfortable and not want to change things. This may bring up fear and anxiety for you. But, things are always changing. You can’t go back. Being vulnerable means getting outside of your comfort zone. You can attempt to expand your social circle or engage in healthy habits together. You can go zip lining together on your next vacation.
- Be supportive of one another. When was the last time you shared your dreams with your partner? There needs to be safety in the relationship to do this. Or, have you just given up on your dreams? Maybe you have the same dreams, maybe you don’t. What’s important is that you are supportive of one another’s dreams. When you are supportive of one another your partner will feel like they can make a mistake and not feel judged.
- Don’t bad mouth your partner to friends and family. Nobody likes this in a relationship. You don’t need to tell your best friend that your partner didn’t put the dishes away. This is something you need to talk to your partner about. You also don’t need to share all the dirty laundry in the relationship on social media. Chances are it will get back to your partner. This will decrease trust in the relationship. Remember, once you say the words they are out there and you can’t take them back.
“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” Albert Einstein
It’s important to remember that trust in built over time. Are you in your relationship for the long haul? What do you need to do to make it last?
If you liked this article there are more in, Relationship Challenges. It is filled with tips to help you create a happy and sustainable relationship.
Lianne Avila is a Marriage & Family Therapist helping couples and individuals in San Mateo, CA who are looking to rebuild a close emotional connection and get their relationship back on track. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on www.LessonsforLove.com to learn more about her services and expertise.