Reducing Stress

Let Love Grow

By Lianne Avila | April 7, 2014

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” William James We live in such a fast paced world. We are always in a rush. We are always looking for ways to make things faster and more effective. Speed is key in our society. As a result, this has taken a toll on our relationships. We have seen the divorce rate sky rocket and we have more disease than ever. Many doctors have told us this is because of stress. Here are five tips to help lower the stress in your life and help build...

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Give Up Stinkin’ Thinkin’ For Lent

By Lianne Avila | March 10, 2014

“You must manage yourself before you can lead someone else.” Zig Ziglar Yeah, daylight savings time is here, and if you can’t tell, I absolutely love it. Lent has also started. I’m sure you’ve thought about what you’re going to give up for Lent. Some people give up sugar, chocolate, wine, bread, etc. I could go on with a list of things to give up. I’ve been telling people to give up give up their cognitive distortions (aka stinkin’ thinkin’) for Lent. Here are ten cognitive distortions you absolutely must give up for Lent: All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things...

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Sharing Power and Accepting Influence in Your Relationship

By Lianne Avila | January 27, 2014

It’s not always about being right. In the Gottman’s research we have found that in order to gain influence you need to accept influence. This means trying new things that your partner suggests or trying things the way your partner does things, for a change. Relationships don’t need to be difficult or about power struggles. They need to be about nurturing the friendship and accepting one another’s differences. Nobody is perfect; this is not an expectation you should have in a relationship. If you do, then you are setting it up for failure. Whenever we see a couple we give...

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Five Tips to Help You Through the Holiday Season

By Lianne Avila | December 2, 2013

It’s hard to believe that December is already here. The holiday season can be a wonderful season, but it can also be a crazy season. The media has really taken over. Stores open on Thanksgiving, sales everywhere and lines of people waiting to buy that one last gift. Sometimes, we are so busy taking care of everyone else that we forget about ourselves. This can also be a time where people get run down and stressed out. Here are five tips that will help make the holidays more enjoyable: Loneliness? Plan a date with You. Many people don’t have family...

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When going through treatment for breast cancer, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.

By Lianne Avila | October 28, 2013

If you are going through treatment for breast cancer, or you have gone through treatment for breast cancer, then you know how physically and emotionally draining it can be. When I think back to the days that I had chemotherapy. I wanted to keep going but eventually it did catch up. I felt like I had to put my life on hold and that I wouldn’t accomplish anything while I was going through treatment. That was back in 2001. I now realize I was really hard on myself during that time. When it was all over I realized life still...

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Unexpected Detours: Three Tips for Breast Cancer Patients

By Lianne Avila | October 21, 2013

“It’s the not knowing aspect of breast cancer that increases the emotionality in regard to all your relationships.” Katherine Puckett  Breast Cancer’s Relationship Toll: For many women breast cancer is not only a major physical battle but it is also an emotional battle. It can affect every relationship in your life. From friendships to romance, from being a parent to being a daughter, the way your relate to everyone and the way they relate to you – can be affected.  For some women, breast cancer can be the catalyst that turns casual friendships into deep meaningful friendships, it can bring...

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Don’t Believe Everything Your Mind Tells You

By Lianne Avila | July 1, 2013

We’ve all heard the saying, ‘don’t believe everything people tell you.’ But, what about everything your mind tells you? I hear this all the time in my practice, ‘I’m a bad parent, I’m a bad student, or I’m a bad spouse.’ Is this really the truth, or is this your mind playing tricks on you? Here are five tips to help you stop believing everything your mind tells you: Stop comparing yourself to others. Especially actors! Learn to love yourself for the person you are. Life is full of ups and downs. This will help you through the difficult times in...

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Living Your Life in Balance: 6 Tips to Balance Your Life

By Lianne Avila | April 22, 2013

“Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.” Hillary Clinton I hear this all the time in my practice, ‘I wish I had more balance in my life.” It’s so easy in our fast-paced society to lose track of time and forget some of the obvious things. Here are some tips to help get your life back in order. Plan – I always ask my clients if they have a planner and are they using it? Most of the time they have one but aren’t always using it. Start your week by looking at your planner. Schedule work commitments, physical...

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Are We Feeling Good?

By Lianne Avila | February 25, 2013

How to Break Out of a Bad Mood: Believe it or not, how you feel can affect how your partner feels. When you wake up in the morning are you excited for the day, or are you thinking here we go again? When you come home at the end of the day do you know your partner is excited to see you, or do they ignore you? While you are away from your partner do you know they are thinking fondly of you, or do you wonder if they are thinking negatively about you? If you answered yes to one...

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