Relationship Challenges

The 4 Habits That Keep Relationships Strong

By Lianne Avila | January 7, 2013

“The one who is meant for you encourages you to be your best, but still loves and accepts you at your worst.” Marc Chernoff Loving your partner for the person they are Maybe you wish your partner would chat it up with your friends without being prompted or put the cap on the toothpaste. But, their inability to notice crumbs on the counter may stem from the laid-back personality that drew you to them in the first place. One of the things I’ve noticed with happy couples is they have stopped trying to change one another and have learned to...

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The Importance of Keeping the Dream Alive

By Lianne Avila | December 23, 2012

Is it time to check-in? What happened to my dreams? What happened to our dreams? Is it too late? When is the last time you spent talking to your partner about their life dreams? Do you know your partner’s life dreams? If the answer is no, then it’s time for a talk. And, yes, dreams can change. We live in a fast-paced world and can get caught up in the busyness. Not only can we forget what our partner’s dreams are, we can forget what our own dreams are. Take a sincere interest in your partner’s dreams. Know every detail of their dreams...

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Couples Math

By Lianne Avila | November 27, 2012

Find your inner flirt. I often hear couples complain that their relationship is boring and they feel stuck. They miss the passion. I usually ask how the beginning of the relationship was. Are they still dating and having fun together? This is very important. Remember to spend magical time with one another. Break this into “The Magic Five and One-half Hours a Week.” Don’t part in the morning without knowing one important fact about your partner’s day. Kiss for a minimum of six seconds before departing for the day from one another. Two minutes a day x five working days...

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I really didn’t mean it Like That

By Lianne Avila | October 30, 2012

“Understanding Must Precede Advice” Dr.’s John & Julie Gottman Yes, what you say does matter. Sometimes, your words can hurt those closest to you. Instead of looking for what is wrong with you partner, start asking yourself what is right with you partner. Pick three things you truly appreciate about your partner and tell them daily what you appreciate. For example: ‘I really like how resourceful you are, you are exciting, you are creative, you are strong and you are sexy.’ We live in a very fast-paced world these days and often do not spend as much time with our...

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Listening without Fixing

By Lianne Avila | October 17, 2012

Why are you always trying to change me?  Why can’t you just listen to me?  Does this sound familiar?  I see a lot of couples and I hear this a lot.  Believe it or not listening is an art.  Next time your partner wants to tell you about their day, try listening without trying to solve their problem.  You will be surprised at the long-term results. It’s important when you are in a relationship to build rituals of emotional connection into your daily life.  When you discuss your day with your partner tell them three things you appreciate about your...

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