Relationship Challenges

Couples Math

By Lianne Avila | November 27, 2012

Find your inner flirt. I often hear couples complain that their relationship is boring and they feel stuck. They miss the passion. I usually ask how the beginning of the relationship was. Are they still dating and having fun together? This is very important. Remember to spend magical time with one another. Break this into “The Magic Five and One-half Hours a Week.” Don’t part in the morning without knowing one important fact about your partner’s day. Kiss for a minimum of six seconds before departing for the day from one another. Two minutes a day x five working days...

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I really didn’t mean it Like That

By Lianne Avila | October 30, 2012

“Understanding Must Precede Advice” Dr.’s John & Julie Gottman Yes, what you say does matter. Sometimes, your words can hurt those closest to you. Instead of looking for what is wrong with you partner, start asking yourself what is right with you partner. Pick three things you truly appreciate about your partner and tell them daily what you appreciate. For example: ‘I really like how resourceful you are, you are exciting, you are creative, you are strong and you are sexy.’ We live in a very fast-paced world these days and often do not spend as much time with our...

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Listening without Fixing

By Lianne Avila | October 17, 2012

Why are you always trying to change me?  Why can’t you just listen to me?  Does this sound familiar?  I see a lot of couples and I hear this a lot.  Believe it or not listening is an art.  Next time your partner wants to tell you about their day, try listening without trying to solve their problem.  You will be surprised at the long-term results. It’s important when you are in a relationship to build rituals of emotional connection into your daily life.  When you discuss your day with your partner tell them three things you appreciate about your...

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