Taking Care Of Yourself

Want the Life You Have

By Lianne Avila | February 10, 2014

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Arthur Ashe I have seen a lot of people in my practice and many of them come in, because they want to make changes in their life. They aren’t happy with the life they have. They may feel anxious or depressed. I tell them to live in the present, stop dwelling about the past and stop predicting the future. Here are six steps to help you want the life you have: Begin and end each day with gratefulness. When you wake up in the morning take a minute...

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The New Normal

By Lianne Avila | January 6, 2014

Hello and welcome back. You may have noticed that I took a long needed break during the Holiday season, to enjoy time with family and friends. It’s hard to believe that 2013 is over and 2014 has begun. The year flew by and after I had surgery in September, it seemed like 2013 was over in the blink of an eye. I’m glad to say I’m feeling much better and I’m excited for the New Year. This can be an exciting time, a time of new beginnings, or it can be a time to reflect back on the past year....

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Dating After Breast Cancer

By Lianne Avila | October 14, 2013

Now, the good news, you have been treated for breast cancer and have found out from your doctor that you are cancer free. You went through treatment single or now you have become single after being treated for breast cancer. You may feel apprehensive about meeting new people and dating. You may be nervous about telling people that you have had breast cancer or unsure when to give them this information. You may also feel anxious about starting a physical relationship. Here are some tips on dealing with dating after breast cancer: Remember, breast cancer doesn’t define you. It doesn’t...

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Dating and Relationship Advice for Men and Women – Why Are You Still Single?

By Lianne Avila | October 7, 2013

So many of my single clients ask me, ‘why am I still single?’ They feel they are doomed in relationships. I ask them, “are you truly being honest with yourself?” How open are they to their friends and family’s constructive advice? How open are they to therapy and taking a closer look at themselves? Many of my clients complain that they repeat the same dating patterns. I have found that many single people, may be sabotaging their chances of happiness without realizing it. It’s surprising how many single men and women feel they don’t deserve a loving relationship.  I live...

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Three Tips to Help You Find Love

By Lianne Avila | September 23, 2013

My single clients often ask me, ‘will I ever find the one?’ I tell them to focus on the process rather than the goal. What this means is, rather than focusing on how much you hate being single or making it a goal to find a life partner. Sit back and enjoy the process. Take this time to learn more about yourself and others. Here are three tips that will help you find love when you are single: Take a risk. Now is the time to try something new. If you don’t put yourself out there, chances are you will...

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Single and Over 40

By Lianne Avila | September 9, 2013

“Single” is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize.” Mandy Hale SO WHAT. I am not here to tell you anything stupid, like, “it must be lonely or you just don’t get out enough.” If you are over the age of 40 and single I am sure you have heard that and much more. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship, either. But, if you aren’t, stop beating yourself up. Many single people are buying homes, traveling and spending quality time with friends. Here are 7 tips on how...

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Work and Relationship Balance

By Lianne Avila | July 30, 2013

These days finding balance between work and a relationship, may seem like the tip of the iceberg. Don’t forget, there are also friends, family (kids if you have them), personal errand and responsibilities, etc. These days being over-busy is the norm in our society. Relationships are the ones that suffer. We, unfortunately, set them last as a priority. Not only do you need to schedule them first, but you need to schedule time for ‘fun’ in your relationship. Here are five tips to help you balance work and a relationship: Love the person, not their title. Nothing is certain in...

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Single Again! Now What?

By Lianne Avila | June 24, 2013

As I look at the man sitting across from me, Nathan. He says to me, “I can’t believe I am 45 and single, again, I never thought this would happen to me.” He asks me,” how will I communicate with my ex, will I always feel lonely, and how will I handle dating?” He doesn’t realize at this time, that he will get through this. Here are five tips to help you out, if you have recently gone through a divorce. Discover your strengths. Now is the time to start valuing yourself. This is the first step in being a...

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7 Tips for Self-Soothing

By Lianne Avila | June 10, 2013

In today’s world we all work too much or are taking care of others. This doesn’t leave much time for ourselves. In today’s busy world we often forget about ourselves. Some of us have been taught that it is selfish to put ourselves first or that we shouldn’t think of ourselves. I’m here to tell you that is bologna. I see people all the time in my practice that have forgotten about themselves and are putting everyone else in their life first. The result, is burnout and fatigue. If this isn’t taken care of it could lead to something more...

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How To Make Your “No” Stick

By Lianne Avila | April 8, 2013

As most of you know I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and I have completed Levels 1, 2 & 3 in Gottman Couples Training. Gottman, of course, is the expert on relationships and is backed with 40 years of research. I absolutely love this method. After trying many different methods in working with couples, I have found this to be practical and effective. A lot of people ask me if I see other clients in my practice, and my response is yes. I also work with individuals, whether they are dealing with depression, anxiety or the loss of a...

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