Taking Care Of Yourself

Single and Over 40

By Lianne Avila | September 9, 2013

“Single” is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize.” Mandy Hale SO WHAT. I am not here to tell you anything stupid, like, “it must be lonely or you just don’t get out enough.” If you are over the age of 40 and single I am sure you have heard that and much more. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship, either. But, if you aren’t, stop beating yourself up. Many single people are buying homes, traveling and spending quality time with friends. Here are 7 tips on how…

Read More

Work and Relationship Balance

By Lianne Avila | July 30, 2013

These days finding balance between work and a relationship, may seem like the tip of the iceberg. Don’t forget, there are also friends, family (kids if you have them), personal errand and responsibilities, etc. These days being over-busy is the norm in our society. Relationships are the ones that suffer. We, unfortunately, set them last as a priority. Not only do you need to schedule them first, but you need to schedule time for ‘fun’ in your relationship. Here are five tips to help you balance work and a relationship: Love the person, not their title. Nothing is certain in…

Read More

Single Again! Now What?

By Lianne Avila | June 24, 2013

As I look at the man sitting across from me, Nathan. He says to me, “I can’t believe I am 45 and single, again, I never thought this would happen to me.” He asks me,” how will I communicate with my ex, will I always feel lonely, and how will I handle dating?” He doesn’t realize at this time, that he will get through this. Here are five tips to help you out, if you have recently gone through a divorce. Discover your strengths. Now is the time to start valuing yourself. This is the first step in being a…

Read More

7 Tips for Self-Soothing

By Lianne Avila | June 10, 2013

In today’s world we all work too much or are taking care of others. This doesn’t leave much time for ourselves. In today’s busy world we often forget about ourselves. Some of us have been taught that it is selfish to put ourselves first or that we shouldn’t think of ourselves. I’m here to tell you that is bologna. I see people all the time in my practice that have forgotten about themselves and are putting everyone else in their life first. The result, is burnout and fatigue. If this isn’t taken care of it could lead to something more…

Read More

How To Make Your “No” Stick

By Lianne Avila | April 8, 2013

As most of you know I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and I have completed Levels 1, 2 & 3 in Gottman Couples Training. Gottman, of course, is the expert on relationships and is backed with 40 years of research. I absolutely love this method. After trying many different methods in working with couples, I have found this to be practical and effective. A lot of people ask me if I see other clients in my practice, and my response is yes. I also work with individuals, whether they are dealing with depression, anxiety or the loss of a…

Read More

Finding the Silver Lining in Loss

By Lianne Avila | March 25, 2013

Three steps to help you redefine your world when “Plan A” fails. “Life is all about how you handle Plan B. Plan A is always my first choice. You know, the one where Everything works out to be Happily ever-after. But, more often than not. I find myself dealing with The upside-down, inside-out-version – Where nothing goes as it should. It’s at this point that the real Test of my character comes in ..  Do I sink, or do I swim?  Do I wallow in self pity and play the victim Or simply shift gears And make the best of…

Read More

What’s Wrong with Being Single?

By Lianne Avila | November 12, 2012

“It’s nothing personal,” he says “it’s really not you it’s me I just need some time to figure things out.” “This is not the first time I have heard this,” said my client. One of the great things about being single is the independence that comes with it. Take this time to make your own decisions and learn not to rely on others for approval. I know some people think there is nothing worse than being single. Where does this come from, many clients have asked me. And, I often ask them to answer their own question. When did they…

Read More